February 21, 2006

"American Idol" -- the first 12 ladies.

Now we can finally vote, and we see the females, two of whom will be eliminated this week.

Mandisa sings Heart's "Never." I thought it was tasteless and ugly, but Randy and Paula rave. Simon? Oh, he's raving too. What nonsense! They are lavishing praise on her, it seems, to suck up to all the many plus size "American Idol" fans.

Kellie Pickler: "I don't really have a love life." But she's going to do this song -- "How Far," a sexual song -- for her dad. Kind of icky. But we're reminded again that her dad is in prison, and she is a woman of sorrow. It's atrocious, and she's doing that "American Idol" pose I so detest, planting her feet wide apart and doing shallow knee bends. It's so crotchy -- but sexless! They tell her she has the likeability factor. "You're a nice girl," Simon says.

Becky O'Donohue, she's the girl with the miming twin. I detest her. Much as I feel for her muted twin, I find her intolerably phony. But she's doing "Because the Night." That's something. Let's listen. Yikes! She's doing Patti Smith, cornball style. She's gesticulating in a way that says: you must find me sexy. Patti would never do that! I'm horribly nauseated! Simon: "Visually, you are a 10, but..."

Ayla Brown, the beautiful basketballer. She motivates herself by thinking about how Simon called her "robotic" and "empty." She's singing some cheesy song in a horribly cheesy style. Oh, it's something like "Reflection." It's harsh and abominable. She puts that pop-groan into it, but I'm not embarrassed for her, because she's so pretty and so tall. When she's done, she says, "I just feel so complete," as if she'd just had sex with herself. Appalling! But will the judges complain? Again with the praise. Is there no relenting? Simon calls her a "hard worker" with "a limit." But he credits her with "some emotion." Disgusting overpraise!

Paris Bennett: she's one of the very best from the auditions, and she's going to sing "Midnight Train to Georgia." Great! But the song seems to be in the wrong key, and the singing is so unmusical compared to the audition. Judges? Randy: "Whoa!" Paula: "You're my idol!" Simon: "It's a performance everyone's going to remember."

Stevie Scott, a special favorite of mine. She's the one who's studied opera. And quite aside from that, I'm getting a nice "Joan of Arcadia" vibe from her. She's singing an opera song, "From Where You Are." Ooh! She does the Kelly Clarkson stomach grab! She's breathy and sweet. Randy: "Dude, I found myself daydreaming." Paula: "Very intimate." Simon: "You completely and utterly messed that up... It was like being at some Sunday lunch and some child gets up to sing." Whoops! Afterwards, she apologies and indicates she can do what they want. Crash! And now she's desperately acting sexy with Ryan. Noooooooo!

Brenna Gethers, the biggest ham. Ooh, she's squirming her body up against Ryan Seacrest! You don't want to see that. Aw, but she's singing "You Are the Sunshine of My Life." She has five different voices, and she specializes in sticking out her ass and slapping it. Simon: "That was horrible, completely and utterly..." The problem is the safe song, when she's supposed to be a wild cat.

Heather Cox is singing some damned "American Idol" song. Apparently, she wants to pull the stars down from the sky. Despite her lovely chest, she's horribly unmusical and off-key. Please, make her go away. Randy only calls her boring. Paula says it's not great. Simon only calls it "forgettable," but then redeems himself with an honest word: "horrible."

Melissa McGhee. She's weak and dull. "When the Lights Go Down." This is so ugly that I have to ignore it. Somehow, Paula thinks it was a "shining moment."

Lisa Tucker. She's adorably 16. I love her. The audience is screaming. She sings in a beautifully mature style -- "I'm changing" -- that makes all the other girls seem lightweight and ordinary. Lisa!

Kinnik Sky. "Get Here," a song I associate with Justin Guarini. She has a heavy, overbearing voice. Paula: "Sharp notes? A few. So what!" Simon sneers, "Very cabaret."

Only one more. They usually save the best one for last, and it's the one I remember as the best from the auditions:

Katharine McPhee! She sings "Since I Fell For You," which she imagines was originally sung by Barbra Streisand. "I get the blues most every night." Randy: "Wow, wow." Paula: "Fantastic. I think you're going to go all the way." Simon: "There were four very, very good vocalists tonight, and you were the best."

17 comments:

Anne said...

I just finished watching, also, and I'm perplexed. WHAT WAS THAT? Lisa and Paris were the only tolerable performers, but the rest ... yikes. Most of the girls were just vapid and uninspiring.

vbspurs said...

Just to let Althousians know --

I'll be watching The Apprentice for the first time, ever, this Monday.

Yes. I've finally capitulated to the lure of pop TV culture.

So count me in during future Althouse TV threads, at last.

Cheers,
Victoria

Unknown said...

The music/judges' opinions also sounded weird to me. I thought Paris sounded off and I feared she was about to bounce right off the stage. I love Lisa Tucker and McGhee. I thought Ayla showed great improvement and enjoyed her little "moment" when she said she felt complete. Hey, she's only 17! Performing can be all that. Take an acting class and see.

BTW I do not for one minute believe Brenna and her hard luck story, but LOL, good try, girl!

chuck b. said...

The Kellie Pickler review made me laugh out loud. Nice, pithy work, AA.

XWL said...

Maybe it was cause I made the mistake of watching Constantine (the film, not the singer) the other night, but I swear there was a scene in hell where souls were being tortured by listening to Becky O'Donohue do what she did to poor Patti Smith.

Yikes.

Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera have a lot to answer for.

Pick a key and stick to it, and hold a note for a change and don't warble.

Paris was pretty awful, too. Her voice wasn't the problem, but turning 'Midnight Train to Georgia' into the bouncy happy tune that she seemed to think it was, that's just wrong.

When you sing a song you really should connect to the lyrics and sing the emotion suggested by the lyric, or else it's utterly empty.

But Stevie, Heather and Kinnik are the most likely to be ousted.

(Though there are many filmmakers in the Valley just over the hill from Hollywood who would gladly find a project for Heather to star in)

Pete said...

Yay, American Idol blogging! You're the best, Ann!

I'm with you on most of your review and I'm with xwl about Paris and Midnight Train to Georgia: It's not a bouncy song. Lisa Tucker seems to have the goods. The rest? Eh. At least for now.

Let's see how the boys do.

Ann Althouse said...

1. I've always heard "Midnight Train to Georgia" as a happy song the way Gladys Knight sings it. The man is going back to a more authentic place, and she loves him enough to want to live in his world. The backup vocals sound especially peppy, and Gladys sounds like she's made her decision and she's into it now.

2. The only way to sing "Because the Night" is the Natalie Merchant way? Gah! Merchant covered a Patti Smith song. Don't even icons get respect anymore?! And that's not even mentioning Springsteen! Please, a little historical depth.

3. Those who found the girls blah. Remember these are kids, some only 16 or 17, suddenly singing live, in front of judges, on the most popular show on television. It's amazing that they hold it together at all.

4. Thanks for encouraging me to keep up my "American Idol" blogging. It's a little hard to do a contestant-by-contestant review at this stage, with so many, but for me, it would be harder to sit through the show and pay attention to each one, if I weren't writing.

Tristram said...

Ann, please keep on AI blogging.

My wife does pair AI blogging with a friend (though I don't think they have started up this year...). She'd ask me what you said after she does her own posts. It's funny, she'll get mad saying 'That's what I said!'.

Anyway, all I know is she thinks Ace isdreamy and Chris Daughtry is probably her favorite.

BTW, looking forward to tonight, is it possible that Will Makar look like any more like Peter Brady?

Adam said...

For real, if ever the "you sang like a bad lounge singer" tag fit, it was for that atrocious "Because the Night". It's a ferocious song, and she tried to make it cuddly.

But Ann, I've got to ask -- what's wrong about one facet of American pop culture finally catering (hell, even pandering) to the plus-sized, and not treating them as people in need of change?

Laura Reynolds said...

Yes they are generally inexperienced and its impressive that they do as well as they do... but why they so often make the dreadful song choices at this point is hard to explain, especially when they are free to choose nearly anything.

Lisa, Paris and Katharine are clearly talented enough and Ayla is intriquing if limited. Beyond that its difficult (for me) to draw any conclusions. I admit to being less interested in the men, I've seen lots of bar bands that could use Bo Bice or Constantine, so so hopefully these guys have talent to match personality.

Please keep up the AI posts Ann, its a lot more fun than ports and hunting.

Welcome Victoria

MadisonMan said...

...what's wrong about one facet of American pop culture finally catering (hell, even pandering) to the plus-sized, and not treating them as people in need of change?

All people are in need of change. Stagnation is what happens just before you die. If you aren't changing, you aren't growing.

Ann, I don't watch AI (unless I walk through the room while the daughter is watching) but I loved your commentary.

Ann Althouse said...

Adam: "...what's wrong about one facet of American pop culture finally catering (hell, even pandering) to the plus-sized, and not treating them as people in need of change."

I'm just calling bullshit if they overpraise Mandisa to try to get in good with the large folks. Simon insulted her for being very fat before, and now they are putting on a show of making amends. Fine, but Mandisa shouldn't get extra credit for being fat.

I'm not stating a more general opinion about whether or not people should be pressured to get in shape. But generally, I think whether it's better to be slim or not, pressuring people about it doesn't help and it's impolite anyway.

Adam said...

Fair enough. I thought it was a strong, confident performance, not on the level of the top 2-3, but there were certainly 5-6 worse than Mandisa last night -- both in terms of performance and potential.

David A. Carlson said...

Because the Night is a Bruce Springsteen song - he wrote it for Patti, as he has with many songs for many artists.

It is also on his Live Album

Dad said...

I never watched AI until this year. I don't care much for the style of music. But I was struck last night by the sight of 12 young women, amateurs every one, gleaned from thousands of auditioners, pursuing their dreams, realistic or not. Certainly there was much to criticize, but each of them is very talented (several are extremely talented) and singing solo into a mic with a live band and a live audience is really difficult, even for pros.

Nice job, ladies!

Roger Sweeny said...

""Since I Fell for You," was a '40 Buddy Johnson tune that had been recorded countless times by everyone from Louis Armstrong to pop-and-R&B vocalist Lenny Welch, who had a Top 5 hit with it in 1963."

Later covers include Nina Simone, Bonnie Raitt, Michael Bolton, and (yes) Reba McEntire and Natalie Cole.

Ann Althouse said...

LarryK: Yeah, reading the Althouse blog is a great way to save time -- in so many ways!