November 25, 2008

Ann Coulter has her mouth wired shut.

After breaking her jaw.

I hope no one breaks any bones in the rush to crack jokes about it.

63 comments:

Once written, twice... said...

Hopefully, Ann Coulter will have a quick and painless recovery. It should be noted though that she would be the first to make caustic and mean spirited jokes if it was a liberal talking head who was in the same situation.

Synova said...

She will, no doubt, be the first to make a joke about it happening to *her*.

Sheesh, Lee.

I bet she was making jokes with the doctor about getting her mouth wired shut while he (or she) was doing it.

Bissage said...

That must be some mighty strong wire.

AllenS said...

You really don't need to talk that much anymore, just know how to type. Look at the influence that I, AllenS, have had at this blog and I've not uttered a word!

Original Mike said...

This is too funny to be true. I want evidence. Show me a picture.

bearbee said...

She could get an Ann Coulter lookalike puppet and become a ventriloquist.

Ron said...

How funny can it be when the jokes write themselves?

MadisonMan said...

Bissage, you crack me up.

Methadras said...

Ann Coulter breaks jaw, gets wired shut. Liberals stunned in silence. Film at 11.

AlphaLiberal said...

Good one, Bissage!

And, let's pause to give thanks to a merciful God.

John Stodder said...

I'm donating my Ann Coulter comment opportunity to Titus. I want to know if this arouses him.

AlphaLiberal said...

I bet she was making jokes with the doctor...

Honestly, I can't think of a funny remark from her. Caustic quips dressed up as joke, sure. (See, various "fag" jokes directed at Democrats).

But funny? Nope, not Annie.

garage mahal said...

Permanently one would hope.

kjbe said...

It's quite the visual, I'm getting. Too, too funny.

chuck b. said...

Now I suppose she'll go on a liquid diet. Maybe she'll be able to lose some of that weight.

Unknown said...

Bah! Less time talking means more time writing for someone like her. I'll bet she gets 2/3rds of her next book written during this time. The wires will come off in plenty of time for her incendiary book tour: a new batch of offensive comments, interviews with self-righteous reporters who ask her if she should perhaps feel regret for said comments, defiant doubling down.

AlphaLiberal said...

Nice picture of Annie here

So does Pat Robertson, who said God punished the US with hurricanes and terror attacks, see a divine hand at work?

Chip Ahoy said...

I hate it when women get hurt.

* sads *

walter neff said...

While they are fixing her jaw will they be able to shave down her adams apple?

Zachary Sire said...

Well, good. Now she has a mouth to match her cunt and her brain.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I was remarking to my husband that this entire election season has been just surreal.

Obama raising the Clinton administration from the dead. His followers chanting change like the South Park Night of the Living Homless. Change....change...change..... and then there is no change.

The weird campaign that McCain ran. Half hearted, like he really didn't want to win. The bizarre foaming at the mouth attacks on Sarah Palin. Joe the freaking Plumber!!!

And now Ann Coulter has her mouth wired shut. (snicker)

Surreal.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

No irony free zone here.

Paul said...

"Well, good. Now she has a mouth to match her cunt and her brain."

Proof that anything Ann Coulter says about liberals is probably too mild.

Anonymous said...

Section 13(C)(8)(v) of the Fairness Doctrine now requires that Rachel Maddow's jaw is wired shut for an amount of time equal to the amount of time Ann Coulter's jaw will be wired shut.

Unknown said...

Bah squared! Her book is due for release in January. Her jaw will probably be ready for action on that book tour!

Anonymous said...

Some people only live to be outraged.
It gives their lives meaning.
Ann needs to heal quickly to give them purpose.

Hoosier Daddy said...

"Well, good. Now she has a mouth to match her cunt and her brain."

I don't care much for her but the seething rage she gets from libs just makes me want to send her flowers.

Zachary Sire said...

I don't care much for her but the seething rage she gets from libs just makes me want to send her flowers.

Yeah, because she never says anything to welcome it.

Trooper York said...

I always heard that she had an Erica Boyer thing going on so the wired mouth,cunt and brain are no big deal.

Just keeping it real.

Zachary Sire said...

Her and Matt Drudge are rumored to be gay lovers, somehow.

garage mahal said...

Hard to believe she's never been married. Chardonnay and cigarettes. Mmmmm. Who wouldn't want that?

Trooper York said...

You know the old saying.

“Things never turn banal with girls who like anal.”

I think Dorothy Parker said that to James Thurber at the Algonquin Round Table in 1937.

Trooper York said...

He wouldn't do her either.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Hard to believe she's never been married.

You're right. It's hard to believe someone would choose to remain single their whole life.

Hey did Barry quit smoking yet?

Hoosier Daddy said...

Her and Matt Drudge are rumored to be gay lovers, somehow.

Is that supposed to be some kind of slam? Kinda ironic coming from an admitted gay man.

garage mahal said...

I'm sure Coulter is unmarried because she chooses to be. I doubt I could go my entire life without sex like Coulter though.

Hoosier Daddy said...

I'm sure Coulter is unmarried because she chooses to be. I doubt I could go my entire life without sex like Coulter though.

You sure she's celibate?

Zachary Sire said...

Is that supposed to be some kind of slam?

No, just a rumor.

Kinda ironic coming from an admitted gay man.

And if it were a "slam," it would fail to reach the definition of irony. Just because someone "admits" (jesus christ) to being gay doesn't preclude them from insulting people who happen to be gay. The insult, or "slam," would be that two hideous people (Drudge and Coulter) are having sex with each other. But like I said, it's not a slam, just a rumor.

Hoosier Daddy said...

And if it were a "slam," it would fail to reach the definition of irony. Just because someone "admits" (jesus christ) to being gay doesn't preclude them from insulting people who happen to be gay.

Well repeating a 'rumor' about a couple of conservatives being gay is...what was your purpose?

But like I said, it's not a slam, just a rumor.

Matt's a male, Ann's a female...gay lovers...

Clearly I'm missing something vital here.

walter neff said...

Well the joke is that Ann is a trannie so thats why it's a gay thing. You know like when Barry and Eddie Murphy go crusing on the down low.

What, we can't make up rumors too!

garage mahal said...

You sure she's celibate?

I can't imagine someone ever having sex with her, although I'm sure there are a few brave souls. But if she is having sex out of wedlock that would be directly against everything she's said in her entire career wouldn't it?

TitusTheReflex said...

Now she doesn't get to perform any oral.

That would suck.

TitusTheReflex said...

I think she went out with Bob (Penthouse owner) son for awhile.

Seriously.

TitusTheReflex said...

I wonder what her tits look like.

You know she shaves her cooch. Full Brazillian.

michael farris said...

"You sure she's celibate?"

Wouldn't she be a filthy liberal slut (nb by her own reckoning, not mine) if she weren't?

walter neff said...

Conservatives can be sexually active.

Just like liberals can have jobs and not be on welfare waiting for government hand outs.

Ann Althouse said...

I'm glad Trooper York knows the right way to pronounce the word "banal."

blake said...

This is a nice picture of Ann.

michael farris said...

"Conservatives can be sexually active.
Just like liberals can have jobs and not be on welfare waiting for government hand outs."

But by and large liberals don't have anything against those who need assistance while IME conservatives have a _lot_ against those who are sexually active without the state's approval.

Methadras said...

Zachary Paul Sire said...

Her and Matt Drudge are rumored to be gay lovers, somehow.


Ha! Oh, just look at you. Wishes and desires again.

Eric said...

Michael Farris, do you actually know any conservatives, or is this just what you read on Kos?

michael farris said...

"do you actually know any conservatives, or is this just what you read on Kos?"

I never read Kos, I have read lots of social conservatives who tend to give lip service to ideas like abstinence before marriage (and lifetime celibacy for the unmarried).
I've never come across any indication that they think this doesn't apply to conservatives (though they might have a 'do as I say' attitude about it).

Trooper York said...

Yes I know that it didn't quite work but when you are reaching for a joke you just go for it.

Of course nitpicking is what you call: anal.

Happy Holidays professor.

Synova said...

So... has Ann Coulter ever said that people should follow strict Christian morality?

She never struck me as a particularly religious person. I don't think that the book "Godless" was a call to celibacy.

wind said...

Notice how much of the above discourse has deteriorated. Is it because most of the participants here seem to be leftists?

Cedarford said...

"John Stodder said...
I'm donating my Ann Coulter comment opportunity to Titus. I want to know if this arouses him."

Titus will no doubt comment on Tranny BJs.

TitusTheReflex said...
Now she doesn't get to perform any oral.
That would suck.


Eh, close...

Now, if I was cruelly funny, I'd invite Coulter to be a guest on Letterman now. I think she is sporting, and would love being the straight butt of the jokes:

Dave: "So, Ann, any validity to the rumor that you were sedated, fell out of your abortion clinic cot, and broke your jaw that way?"

Ann. "Mmmmmmph!"

Dave: "Rumors you are dating Alec Baldwin...or is it Eliot Spitzer?" "Mmmmph!"

"Or broke your jaw when you swallowed too hard and your Adams Apple hit the underside of it?"

"You weren't too clear on Baldwin or Spitzer. I definitely would not insult you or either man by insinuating money changed hands for sex..."

"But it is possible they paid you to go away when they were finished with you"...

Coulter:

"Mmmmph! Mmmmph! Glugg!"

Hoosier Daddy said...

I can't imagine someone ever having sex with her, although I'm sure there are a few brave souls.

Well garage, you find her unattractive cause she's a conservative. I understand cause I'd rather nail a sheep than Jeanene Garafolo or Ariana Puffington but I'm sure someone would.

But if she is having sex out of wedlock that would be directly against everything she's said in her entire career wouldn't it?

I don't know. I honestly don't know what her position on pre-marital sex is. No pun intended.

Trooper York said...

Her position on premarital sex is from behind.

Pun intended.

Hoosier Daddy said...

while IME conservatives have a _lot_ against those who are sexually active without the state's approval.

No we just have a problem paying for the offspring they produce and can't take care of.

hdhouse said...

there is a god...there is...i swear it...this is living proof.....free at last free at last...lord god almighty free at last....is this kansas?

dualdiagnosis said...

This reminds me of the Mukasey thread.

rhhardin said...

I don't understand the eye shadow. The raccoon look. Does she raid garbage cans?

Princess Di was the same way.

jimspice said...

I wonder if she has a $1M insurance policy on her mouth like Jamie Lee Curtis has on her legs or Dolly Parton on her Buzzooms.