February 26, 2018

"Thirty years ago my husband... said, 'If the cat needs something that costs more than a hundred dollars, I say we opt for the $40 shot and go get a new cat.'"

"It was my cat, so my vote counted more than his did, and the cat lived to a ripe old age. But in my husband’s defense I should mention that his formative years were spent in the small-town South, where humane people went out in the yard and shot an animal if it was suffering.... My husband would have found it impossible to believe that 30 years later he would be running around the house in his boxers, trying to tackle an ancient 70-pound mutt in the dark and shove a pill down his throat. Clark is also deaf, and he suffers from crippling arthritis. So far we have been able to manage his pain with medication, but at his checkup last year, when he turned 13, the vet had some sobering news. 'With big dogs, there’s often a huge difference between 12 and 13,' he said. 'One day Clark won’t be able to get up, and when that happens it’ll be time to let him go.' The very idea is unthinkable...."

From "The Pain of Loving Old Dogs" by Margaret Renkl (NYT).

(Note that the title has 2 meanings. The obvious meaning is that the loving is painful for the human being. The secondary meaning, probably intended, is that the loving dog experiences pain.)

72 comments:

rhhardin said...

https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~cavitch/pdf-library/Hearne_OyezABeaumont.pdf

About putting down old dogs.

Quaestor said...

Or a tertiary meaning, specifically the pain inflicted on old dogs because we sometimes mischaracterized our, how to put it..., greed for the gratifying dog/human relationship as unconditional love that we unjustifiably prolong a dog's existence into a realm of constant suffering.

zipity said...

Having a dog or cat is volunteering to have your heart broken every 5-12 years or so.

traditionalguy said...

Sounds a lot like Sarah Palin's Death Panels. I wonder if Mitch and Paul have let Trump end off that plan to "outlive us?"

But once a large dog cannot get up and walk, the best thing for her is the big sleep.

Matt Sablan said...

Knowing when to put an animal down is a hard decision, and even harder since we don't know what animals really want. For example, with people, we can make out living wills, DNRs, etc.

How do you know if Fluffles thinks that every moment is a joyous gift, no matter how in pain, or if quality of life is more important?

Matt Sablan said...

[That of course begs the question, and elides right passed it: "Does Fluffles even THINK like that?"]

traditionalguy said...

The Baby Boomers want to love their old dogs. So much is diet for the old ones, so much so General Foods just acquired Blue Buffalo high end dog food maker for 8 billion dollars. And the highest end of the dog food makers sell only through the Vets.

tcrosse said...

It's fun to speculate what Dog (or Cat) Heaven would be like. This has probably turned up as a question on Family Feud.

Darrell said...

Having a dog or cat is volunteering to have your heart broken every 5-12 years or so.

Twenty years or more (for cats) if you're really Blessed. I've been thrice so honored in my life

Michael K said...

We had to put my basset hound to sleep two years ago as he had metastatic cancer. It went so fast that it was really tough. He was fine and two weeks later he was gone. He was my third basset hound. We went out and got another from a basset rescue shelter a week later. She is about seven and has arthritis but is the nicest one I've had.

Basset hounds are not long lived as they are very inbred but I've had dogs all my life and they are the easiest.

tcrosse said...

Twenty years or more (for cats) if you're really Blessed. I've been thrice so honored in my life

I've had to face up to the hideous prospect that the cats might outlive me. They're in the will.

glenn said...

I don’t want to talk about it.

gspencer said...

I've put down - okay, had euthanized - okay, paid a vet to kill - a couple of animals. Didn't like doing it.

John Scott said...

Our dog and I went through cancer treatments this past summer. To be honest, I think the dog got more attention. Don't ask what was spent to try to keep her alive.

Ann Althouse said...

"Or a tertiary meaning, specifically the pain inflicted on old dogs because we sometimes mischaracterized our, how to put it..., greed for the gratifying dog/human relationship as unconditional love that we unjustifiably prolong a dog's existence into a realm of constant suffering."

That's the secondary meaning.

Ann Althouse said...

I just didn't sledgehammer it.

Expat(ish) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Expat(ish) said...

I declined to spend $1500 on imaging (in 1995) on my 12 year old Airedale and my vet "fired" me for being cruel.

There was no possible solution to the calcium/lumpy/whosits thing he had on his lower spine, mind you, but the vet thought I had to KNOW the problem.

He had a baby aspirin with every meal and lived five more years chasing cats, squirrels, and blowing pieces of paper.

A great dog, if possibly the stupidest I've ever owned.

I make a lot more money these days and I think I'd have the same answer. If I had $1,500 and nothing else to do with it, I'd probably buy glasses for an African village.

-XC

PS - I am also from the deep south of putting unwanted kittens/puppies in a bag with a rock and putting said bag in the Mississippi, but even at the time I thought that was wrong.

CWJ said...

tcrosse,

There's a saccharine vision of pet heaven titled the rainbow bridge.

Quaestor said...

I've put down - okay, had euthanized - okay, paid a vet to kill - a couple of animals. Didn't like doing it.

I've put down a horse, a grandson of Secretariat and a great-great-grandson of Native Dancer no less, myself alone with a pistol. Didn't like it is an understatement.

Ann Althouse said...

For less sentimental writing, there' s David Sedaris, "Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002)" (pp. 190-191):

"We took Neil [the cat] to the vet today and on the way there she peed on me. She peed on my lap and then she just sat there. She didn’t even try to get away from the urine. She’s being cremated now, and I’ll get the ashes in a few days. I’d always expected her to die at home. The vet said that’s what everyone wants. He examined her, her shrunken kidneys, her bad breath, which indicates severe digestive troubles, and asked if Neil had stopped being a pet. “Has she withdrawn?” I said yes. She quit cleaning herself six months ago, and from then it’s gone from bad to worse. Now my life is post-Neil."

Ralph L said...

In my 20's, my best friend mowed over a baby bunny hidden in his lawn, and his mother made me finish it off with a shovel.

My late step-monster left her Samoyed with me for her last 16 months. The dog walked around my house for the first 24 hours of her last 36. I finally pushed her onto her side, and she declined pretty quick after that. Had to carry her into the vet in the morning.

Quaestor said...

There's a saccharine vision of pet heaven titled the rainbow bridge.

More like pet Valhalla (or more correctly, Valhöll, Valhalla being the genitive)

Humperdink said...

My DIL gave us temporary custody of her cat Chloe while she and my step-son got settled on the west coast. It's been three years now. I was snookered. Not a fan of cats. On the upside, we have zero mice in the farm house.

bwebster said...

My wife and I have owned dogs -- usually multiple dogs -- over the entirety of our 32-year marriage. Five times in 22 years we have taken a dog in to the vet have him or her put to sleep -- twice in the past year, the second just a few weeks ago. For us, the balance is always quality of life for the dog, not whether it's hard for us to do this (it always is). But it's the right thing to do.

Kipling summed it up in his poem, "Thy Servant, A Dog" (told from the dog's perspective); the last stanza reads:

Lord, look down on Thy Servant! Bad things have come to pass.
There is no heat in the midday sun nor health in the wayside grass.
His bones are full of an old disease — his torments run and increase.
Lord, make haste with Thy Lightnings and grant him a quick release!

JAORE said...

Had to do this for multiple dogs. Every time we waited as long as possible, without suffering for the animal. Cried every time.

Last year we were keeping our youngest's cat while he relocated. Danged thing got his leg caught in a fence and suffered the equivalent of an ACL tear.

Took him to an animal hospital. $3,200 and six weeks of limiting activity (try THAT with a young cat) he's fine with only a trace of a limp.

My father might have had a different solution.

reader said...

Over the course of our relationship my husband and I have had to put to sleep three dogs and five cats. My husband takes the dogs and I take the cats. We never go together - or we would be a blubbering mess.

Our thirteen year old lab is large at 95 pounds, not fat but long legged and barrel chested. He has severe spondylosis and gets twice daily pain meds. Last week some of his routine blood test came back with some bad values. This week he gets an ultra sound. We have already told our vet that we will adjust his diet or give him medicine, but this time we won't go the biopsy, surgery, sub q fluid, route.

I've known my vet longer than my husband and she is completely on board with this. She also understands that we will never do chemo on one of our pets. After watching how much pain and sickness that has caused our friends and family members (who chose to put themselves through that process) we will not do that to a pet.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

"Having a dog or cat is volunteering to have your heart broken every 5-12 years or so"

I've usually been pretty pragmatic when the time has come to let an old dog go, but our current dachshund has ingrained himself so deeply into the life of our family that I can't imagine what it will be like without him. Sometime in the next 2-3 years I'm going to find out. It will be heartbreaking.

Trumpit said...

In general, I can't stand doctors or lawyers. To that I would add vets and judges. Need I really explain? We all know that they are no good.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

My old Golden, Bosco, is deaf now and doesn't chase squirrels and bunnies like he used to (he just barks at them instead), but otherwise appears to feel fine. When he starts suffering, I will have him put down.

I can't tell you how much I dread that day.

"I've known my vet longer than my husband and she is completely on board with this. She also understands that we will never do chemo on one of our pets. After watching how much pain and sickness that has caused our friends and family members (who chose to put themselves through that process) we will not do that to a pet."

Same here. You're going to put an animal through that suffering and for what? To add another couple of years onto his life?

AllenS said...

Living in the country, I've had to put down a lot of animals. The time I felt the worse about it is when I had to put down the best horse that I've ever owned. I refuse to let someone else do my killing for me.

TestTube said...

Mehitabel and her kittens:

http://www.poemspoet.com/don-marquis/mehitabel-and-her-kittens

Nice Pete's viewpoint on the matter:

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08112008

DKWalser said...

Mother grew up on a ranch in Montana. Dogs and cats, while 'pets', had a job to do just as all the other animals on the ranch did. Their value was their replacement cost (which, in the case of a dog, might include the time and effort it took to train). When we were growing up, that attitude prevailed. All of us kids knew that if mom couldn't treat our pet at home, and if the vet bill was too expensive, we'd be getting a new pet. That was all there was to it.

Her attitude changed dramatically after my dad retired and all her kids were married and had families of their own. I was shocked when I visited and saw a vet bill for over $1,000 for their dog. It was for the second of three planned surgeries that would extend the dog's life a matter of a little over a year. In contrast, when I was a she'd had my dog put down rather than pay for a course of antibiotics.

I'm not saying either attitude is right or wrong. I'm just noting how much a person's view can change with time and circumstance.

Expat(ish) said...

NB on vets and vet/techs - they suffer from some of the highest work-related illnesses you'll find outside a coal mine or a fire station. Everything a human or animal can get they will get. Also wonderful zoonotic diseases like Bartonella or Borrelia. Plus they get paid dick and have lousy healthcare coverage.

I try to be nice to them - it's a tough job.

-XC

Curious George said...

"Thirty years ago my husband... said, 'If the cat needs something that costs more than a hundred dollars, I say we opt for the $40 shot and go get a new cat."

WHen I was a kid we had a kitttne that had gotten out and hid up in the motor of my dad's station wagon to stay warm. When he started it to go to work the cat got caught up in the fan belt...lost some fur on it head and broke its tail.

The vet told my dad it would be $180 to fuse the tail, or $15 for euthanasia and disposal. When my dad hesitated making a choice the vet said "I uderstand, $180 is a lot of money."

My dad responded that he was actually trying to decide on paying the $15 or doing it himself.

JPS said...

The time before last, we let our beloved dog suffer too long. His cancer was incurable and certainly lethal, but how could we put him down just yet? He seemed fine! He still loved his walks and his food, still wagged and jumped. He was still enjoying himself almost all the time.

Watching him decline, he'd go through down days, then rebound - and I couldn't do it because he was still enjoying himself most of the time. Over the months, the threshold became, dammit, he's still enjoying himself some of the time. Now when I look back at pictures from his final weeks, I ask, How could we let it go on like that?

Last time was different. About six months into a cancer she'd given no sign of having, a week after she passed a routine check-up, she very deliberately lay down while on a walk. She was alert and didn't seem in pain, she just decided it was time for a rest. The next day she was gone.

JPS said...

Trumpit,

"We all know that they [doctors, lawyers, vets, and judges] are no good."

We do? I know no such thing. Are you trolling, or do we actually think we all know what is in fact your highly contestable opinion?

Jupiter said...

Trumpit said...

"Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other."

I would make that, "How can an attorney sleep at night?".

DKWalser said...

When my wife and I married, she was a vet tech. Not long after our marriage, we went to visit my parents in the country. While there, someone ran over kitten in the street that ran in front of their home. My wife scooped up the kitten and correctly determined that it was in pain and could not live without prohibitively expensive treatment. She asked my mom where the nearest vet was (about 10 miles away) and then ran into the office for a shoe-box and tissue to hold the kitten while we rushed it to the vet to be put down.

She arrived back with the shoe-box in time to see her new husband decapitate the kitten with a shovel from the shed.

Which approach do you think was more humane?

Michael K said...

"The time before last, we let our beloved dog suffer too long."

I did the same with my golden retriever. She was a wonderful dog but began to lose weight when she was about 9. She got skinny and then she would stand in the pool because I think the cool water made her belly feel better.

WE let her go about a month or so later than we should have.

stevew said...

Ah, people and their pets.

-sw

tcrosse said...

Somebody wrote that Cat Heaven was a square mile of linoleum and a mouse. Mouse Hell, I imagine.

MayBee said...

We had to put our 16 year old puppy almost exactly one year ago. At the time, he was very ill, but it was a sad decision and it can still make me cry. He had a heart attack or stroke while we were on vacation, then rallied just long enough for me to make it back to him, to be with him for his last breath. For his last year or so, I carried him up and down the stairs, woke up at ever increasingly early hours in the morning, and got him out of the corners he walked into. We had a vet that helped a lot with his geriatric pain. But he still loved to take long-is walks and cuddle. I haven't yet been able to wipe his muzzle marks off a certain mirror on one wall.

Gahrie said...

I generally leave it up to the animals. They will let you know when they think it is time.

I have had cats curl up at my feet while I was on the computer and never wake up. I've had cats climb up on the couch next to me for attention and purr contently, only to drift off and not wake up. I have had cats so clearly in pain and ready to go that the trip to the vet is a mercy.

But to be honest, many of my cats end up as part of the circle of life.

Sally said...

Re: giving an old dog a pill
Wrap it in slice of pepperoni glued shut with peanut butter. If he won't eat that it's time for him to go.

DAN said...

We made it to sixteen with our Golden/Chow mix. People said that we'd know when it was time. I left one vet at about the ten year point, then another at twelve who wanted to transfer "Henry" -- he never told us his real name -- to a West L.A. surgical center with more than a dozen surgeons on site. (He'd never even stayed overnight in a kennel; what would he have thought about that place?) We found a last vet, a guy out in horse country who also treated pet goats and desert tortoises. What I said to him was, "I wasn't raised on a farm but my parents were." So we got four more "years" of him still being able to go up and down the stairs to our bedroom -- and then one day he couldn't and whimpered all night. We took turns for a while sleeping with him downstairs. I don't even believe Time is what we think it is and I'm an old man, conscious and self-aware all kinds of ways; who knows what a clock or a calendar is to a dog. One thing I know, on that last ride out to the edge of the San Fernando Valley, this dog was looking around, smelling the air, and the ride lasted a long, long time. (Ann, thanks for letting us grieve and enjoy our pets again with words.)

Howard said...

It has three meanings. Humans suffer two major types of pain: 1) the pain felt in the heart from emotional loss and 2) a pain in the ass which is the psychic pain of dealing with unnecessary or avoidable duties, like all of the actions necessary to accommodate your wife's emotional pain over the loss of a cat you wanted dead years ago.

reader said...

When our son was seven we had to have our dog put to sleep. It was the dog my husband and I got together after five months of marriage.

My son lost the dog he had known his entire life on a Sunday. The following Thursday his grandmother died (my husband's mother).

Three weeks later we took him to pick out a puppy. He didn't try to pick one up. He didn't sit on the floor and play with them. He stood and stared at them. Finally, one puppy came over and sat on his foot. The puppy stayed there for about forty-five minutes. My son mourned and bonded with that puppy.

Next week my son comes home for spring break. I'm probably going to have to tell him that Mac won't be here when he comes home for summer break.

Megthered said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

Pro-Choice for animals doesn't quite reach the magnitude of corruption normalized by Pro-Choice (e.g. selective-child, euthanasia of the old and deplorable) for humans.

Gahrie said...

One of the best things a parent can do for a child is to get them a pet and teach them how to own it responsibly. So many life lessons learned that way.

Yancey Ward said...

It has been my observation that pet owners keep their animals alive far too long, and this problem has gotten worse and worse as it has become possible to treat more and more maladies of the pets. Once the animal starts shitting and pissing in the house in inappropriate places should be your clue that it is time to put them down, but apparently not.

Anthony said...

Matthew Sablan said...
Knowing when to put an animal down is a hard decision, and even harder since we don't know what animals really want.


Aye, matey, that's the tough part. I read someone above say they'll "let you know" when it's time (and others have said that), but I don't really buy that. It's a judgement call, plain and simple, and you have to put the best interests of the animal first and foremost.

I've had to put several cats down and sometimes it's an easy decision, sometimes not. When my one cat threw a clot and developed pulmonary edema something fierce, it was an easy decision to release him from his pain. But when my other one developed lung cancer. . . . .much trickier. He lasted for about a month. We tried to judge how much pain he was in, but that's always difficult. His retinas detached so he was mostly blind. Some nights I'd lie awake worrying to death that he was suffering and that I had to do the deed the next day. . . .but then he'd curl up next to me and purr his lungs out and next morning he'd be patiently waiting by his mat for his canned food breakfast.

My rule of thumb is to wait until they're in obvious pain and/or simply can't do their basic daily care anymore.

AllenS said...

Animals don't feel pain like we do. There's a reason that they can survive outside with only a shelter to sleep in, and food, and water to live on. In the winter they don't need to wear jackets, or gloves, or warm shoes. If not, then they would have been extinct millions of years ago.

David in Cal said...

Years ago, when money was tight, we had a series of X-rays taken for our cat's obvious abdominal discomfort. The result was just gas. The Vet spent some time with us showing us the X-rays. I think he was a bit embarrassed at the expense we incurred.

eddie willers said...

My son lost the dog he had known his entire life on a Sunday. The following Thursday his grandmother died

"Grandma's on the roof".

Daniel Jackson said...

"(Note that the title has 2 meanings. The obvious meaning is that the loving is painful for the human being. The secondary meaning, probably intended, is that the loving dog experiences pain.)"

I see a third. The piece begins, "Thirty years ago, my husband said..." He's an Old Dog,now, himself.

pacwest said...

I grew up in farm country. Like Allen we took care of our own, and I'm no stranger to deciding when to put down a pet having had four dogs and several cats. But our present dog, service dog, now 12 years old, is going to be among the hardest emotional decisions we've ever had to make. He is an absolutely gorgeous tri-color shepard/huskie mix aquired from an Iditarod breeder. 50% or more of the people who see him comment on what a beautiful dog he is, and he has been photographed a lot, so there is a certain amount of pride involved. But as my wife's service dog he has provided for a decade the function of giving her freedom by providing her with mobility she wouldn't otherwise have had. We once had an encounter with a black bear in bush country AK, and although I think we could have extricated ourselves from the situation, the dog showed no hesitation in his defense of us by driving off the bear and received a large gash in the groin doing so.

Even though he is still reasonably healthy, the groin injury is bothering him, he is showing signs of aging and his eventual fate has been on my mind of late. We have never spent more than basic vet fees on a pet, which we both agreed on before our first pet, but I feel that we owe this one more. It will be very tough.

Sorry for what probably seems like a boastful post, (wrap Balto and RinTinTin together, multiply x2 and you have an idea of what our dog is ;), but since it has been on my mind I guess I just wanted to give testimony to a special animal who has enriched our lives so much.

tcrosse said...

The Yorkshire Vet, available on Amazon Prime TV, is worth a look. But it's definitely not for the squeamish.

Big Mike said...

That's the trouble with pets. Barring a tragic accident it so often ends with you and the pet driving to the vet, but only you coming back. It's tough.

YoungHegelian said...

It is my fondest hope that when I'm called before the Judgement Seat that my pets on whom I have lavished so much affection, time, & money on can be called as character witnesses. Every little bit will help, I'm sure.

reader said...

Pacwest, I'm glad that you have such a wonderful companion to assist your wife. I'm saddened by the tough time you have before you.

Jim Gust said...

When we got our labradoodle 10 years ago, his testicles had not descended. Odd. The breeder gave us a small discount on the price, considering the deformity. A couple years later, when the testicles had descended, we had him neutered.

About 5 years ago, he started to pee in the house, very uncharacteristic. We took him to our regular vet, who as it turned out was on vacation, but the substitute vet ran some tests. He wasn't sure what the problem was, but said it was serious and we should take the dog to an animal hospital for further diagnosis. We paid him a few hundred dollars for the referral.

Long story short, after more tests the hospital determined that our dog was a hermaphrodite. He (it?) also had ovaries, which were now infected and needed to be removed. By now we'd spent about $1k. The surgery would be about another $1.5k, maybe $2k as I remember it. Had I known at the start what the total cost would be, I might have opted to put him down. But having slid down the slippery slope, we didn't want to "waste" the diagnostic fees already incurred, so we paid for the surgery.


The dog is still going strong five years later, so we consider it money well spent.

Ralph L said...

Once the animal starts shitting and pissing in the house in inappropriate places should be your clue that it is time to put them down

Not necessarily. I've known several old cats that peed in corners when they had urinary tract infections.

AllenS said...

Owning a pet, means that you have to accept the good and the bad. I'm sorry, did I fail to mention the ugly?

The Godfather said...

I've had two dogs die in my arms. The first when I was 14, the second when I was 45. A third dog I had to take away because he needed a kind of lifestyle that we couldn't provide. So eight years ago when my wife wanted to get a new dog, I said no. But of course we got the dog and I love her and have been happy ever since. And then four years ago when my wife wanted a second dog I said so. But of course we got the second dog and I love her and have been happy ever since.

Now, though, I wonder whether the four-year-old dachshund might outlive us (we're in our mid-70's). That wasn't part of our estate planning. Well, that's the heirs problem, right?

tim in vermont said...

It’s a shame that “service dog” brings up such connotations of entitled neuroses these days.

Will Cate said...

We've had to do that to two big dogs -- one lived to 11 and the other one 12. It's always heartbreaking.

Gahrie said...

Now, though, I wonder whether the four-year-old dachshund might outlive us (we're in our mid-70's). That wasn't part of our estate planning. Well, that's the heirs problem, right?

I'm the executor of my parent's estate, and they have made me promise to look after the pets...which includes a young dachshund. They had an older dachshund die last October and they're still not over it.

bagoh20 said...

"If I had $1,500 and nothing else to do with it, I'd probably buy glasses for an African village."

You could get a lot more plastic cups for the same money.

bagoh20 said...

I was about 12 when my dog was hit by a car behind our house. She was clearly dying with a broken back and labored breathing. I ask my dad what I could do. He handed me a rifle, and with my family standing behind me, I ended her suffering. It was the first time I ever killed anything more than an insect. I was crying as I did it, but felt right and compassionate. My family was very supportive, and it was a pivotal moment for me where I learned that duty and compassion for a loved one can hurt a great deal. I've helped many beloved canine friends pass over since then, with the help of a vet, but never until their time was clearly at an end with no joy or comfort left for them.

Tom said...

We put down our 15 year Boston Terrier this summer. She was a special dog and energetic until the last 3 months. She was my wife’s dog for 8 years before me. It was one of the hardest thing we’ve ever done to make the decision to put her down. We both cried like little kids. But it was important that she didn’t suffer - and especially important that she didn’t suffer simply because we didn’t want to let her go.