March 27, 2018

"I was never disappointed with me."

A lovely comic performance by Sean Penn of Stephen Colbert's show last night:



The Fox News headline is "Sean Penn admits he's on Ambien, smokes on air in bizarre Colbert interview," which got me to click, but I call bullshit. These encounters are planned. There's no chaos here. Don't be a fool. Penn is a fine actor and can do subtle comedy, and this is fantastic. Anyone who thinks he's on drugs and out of control... oh, come on. You don't think that! I'm tired of the CHAOS!!! alarmism about every damned thing nowadays. Settle down. Penn wrote a novel and he's trying to sell it by embodying the character The Writer.

Here's the novel "Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff." The Salman Rushdie blurb: "It seems wrong to say that so dystopian a novel is great fun to read, but it’s true. I suspect that Thomas Pynchon and Hunter S. Thompson would love this book." Sample:

86 comments:

Bad Lieutenant said...

Video blocked so I have nothing to say except First!

the 4chan Guy who reads Althouse said...

The "Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff." excerpt was painful.

The attempt at humor was based simply on signifiers:

Septic tank pumping
Jehovah's Witnesses
mail-order merkins
Airborne Ordnance Maintenance Company
Pocket Protectors

We are expected to smile at how funny these things are, but are provided no context of why we should be amused, other than it fits things looked down upon by the elite without needed elaboration.

I imagine Sean Penn believes in Diversity, but from that excerpt I am reasonably sure the character is White. Because that keeps things easy to mock. No uncomfortable racial or feminist tensions to get in the way of the Smug Funny.

So we are getting a comic satire from the elite point-of-view: Things That Deplorables Do. From a White Movie Star. Who beats women.

From the internet:

"Penn was extremely violent toward his ex-wife Madonna when the two were married in the 1980s. Once, in June 1987, he allegedly caused the pop superstar to be hospitalized after hitting her across the head with a baseball bat. But Madonna, who remained protective of her husband, refused to press charges since Penn was already facing 60 days in jail for assaulting a film extra.

Things got even uglier on December 28, 1989. According to a police report filed by Madonna, Penn scaled their Malibu home that afternoon, found Madonna alone in her bedroom, and told her that he owned her “lock, stock, and barrel.”

According to reports, “When she told him she was leaving the house, he tried to bind her hands with an electric lamp and cord. Screaming and afraid, Madonna fled from the bedroom. What followed was a nine-hour ordeal which left her deeply shaken. Penn chased her into the living room, caught her and bound her to a chair with heavy twine. Then he threatened to cut off her hair.”

He allegedly “smacked and roughed up” Madonna while she was tied to a chair, and then left for a few hours to buy more booze—leaving his then-wife bound and gagged—only to return and continue terrorizing her. He only agreed to untie her after she “agreed to perform a degrading sex act on him,” and then fled the house, got in her car, and raced to the sheriff’s office—eventually stumbling inside.

“I hardly recognized her as Madonna,” Lt. Bill McSweeney said at the time. “She was weeping, her lip was bleeding and she had obviously been struck.”

Maybe he could have made that into a novel.

"Sean Penn Who Just Hit Stuff."

The Germans have a word for this.

Penn was charged with felony domestic assault, but Madonna told the DA to drop the charges against him. He eventually pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor, and the pop star split from Penn shortly thereafter.






walter said...

Bob Honey, spetic tank pumping: Honeywagon
Waka, waka

Bad Lieutenant said...

It's all wacka-wacka bullshit. The audience is composed entirely of useless eaters.

Sebastian said...

"so dystopian a novel"

Set in Venezuela? Penn cleansing himself of his socialist illusions?

MD Greene said...

Getting a little tired of celebrity authors.

Penn's got his performance schtick down. He's a nutty, emotionally driven, arrogant guy, but as a writer I'm guessing he's a better actor.

Gnarly.

chuck said...

Ugh. It's not the story, it's the writing. Sean Penn hasn't put in his 10,000 hours.

Michael K said...

The lefties are all into "dystopia."

I guess I can't blame them the way all their projects turn out.

Ficta said...

Pynchon and HST?! That lugubrious dump of "ha ha" wacky stuff? It's a fine line that the successful practitioners of this type of writing walk and Penn is waaay over that line. Wacky words are not, in themselves, funny (unless you're stoned, maybe?) It's the unexpected that delights, and nothing in that paragraph was remotely unexpected. Is that just a publisher's blurb? Maybe the actual book is better?

Nonapod said...

I can't watch the interview right now so I'll take your word for it. But I've no doubt that Sean Penn can be charming and funny. A big part of being a successful leading actor is having charisma. And I've liked his performances in a few things over the years.

But he's an idiot.

Not only that, he's one of the worst kinds of idiot: An idiot with an audience. He seems incapable of critical thinking or of being challenged intellectually. He seems to hold the world view of a 13 year old who's angry with his parents.

It's awesome that we live in a country where he gets to speak all sorts of nonsense and hold all sorts of moronic political beliefs (beliefs that ironically would lead to repression of such free thinking if they were ever implemented). I just wish people wouldn't pay so much attention to it.

walter said...

The Germans Have A Word For That.,
It was the 80's, man.
Had to be there...

AllenS said...

Wow, he kicked the shit out of Madonna, how cool is that? Plus, I don't think that he likes Trump.

brylun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brylun said...

After reading the comment at 12:03pm about Penn's kidnapping and sexual assault of Madonna, I am reminded of Roman Polanski. I'm surprised that Ann Althouse holds Penn in such high regard.

How about Roman Polanski: "[Polanski] is a fine [director] and can do subtle comedy, and this is fantastic."

Or Harvey Weinstein: "[Weinstein] is a fine [producer] and can do subtle comedy, and this is fantastic."

How can anyone give a pass to Sean Penn?

Humperdink said...

Why in the world did he leave (flee?, escape?) the Venezuelan paradise? Maybe cigarettes are in short supply.

bolivar di griz said...

Spiccoli overlooked the 50,000 dead in that freak storm, back in 2000, while cgavex was on the island of margarita

walter said...

So Madonna would later deny that happened.
#not me?

Ralph L said...

Bob, honey, just shut up.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

The Germans Have A Word For That. said...

He only agreed to untie her after she “agreed to perform a degrading sex act on him,” and then fled the house, got in her car, and raced to the sheriff’s office—eventually stumbling inside.

Degrading sex act?! Madonna?! Not possible!

gspencer said...

"Honey, please shrink this guy to the microscopic level"

Glen Filthie said...

Penn isn't an idiot, he's a retard. So are the people that take him seriously, I've noticed...

robother said...

The discrete charm of the Hollywood sociopath.

richlb said...

He's treading on Joaquin Phoenix territory.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Leftists interviewing leftists. Go suck Hillary's corrupt dick and F off.
I have no use for Colbert or Penn. Take your banana republic with you.

Bill Peschel said...

One good thing about this is that I just realized Amazon had a category for "absurdist fiction" so that's cool.

I'm willing to read more, but the excerpt was painful. There's absurdist and then there's all over the place. And absurdist still has to connect with reality.

(Plus, I'm not sure what a "fixed-wing shuttle operator" is. Makes no sense at all.)

Of course, I come from a place that begins with "Sean Penn is an abusive intellectual idiot." I wish I could have read this piece first without knowing where it came from.

Scott M said...

It seems wrong to say that so dystopian a novel is great fun to read, but it’s true.

A ridiculous statement given the massive sales dystopian novels and movies pull in.

rhhardin said...

Sean Penn seems to have been TV. I don't recall him in any of my DVDs.

Floris said...

When a well-known conservative is interviewed, 90% of the interview is about horrible things other conservatives have done, and why don't you disavow these people, and aren't you really kinda responsible for these horrible things too, by association. Why doesn't anybody ask Penn about his support for Chavez and Maduro, and about all the children that are dying (*literally* dying) for lack of food, water, and commonplace medicines?

rhhardin said...

Rush has gotten tedious but compared to his guest host Rush is still genius level.

bagoh20 said...

I'm very disappointing with him and have been for years with no end in sight.

Curious George said...

Penn. Colbert. That's a lot of suck.

CJ said...

Hope Mr Penn gets everything he deserves for helping the feds put El Chapo behind bars.

mezzrow said...

That's not writing, that's typing.

FullMoon said...

The Germans Have A Word For That. said... [hush]​[hide comment]

The "Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff." excerpt was painful.


Yep.
Kind of childish. Could take a lesson from James James.

Reading JJ I could think , "I know that guy" or I have seen that person" or I can imagine that person.

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David Begley said...

Has this Penn clown ever been grilled on his slavish love of Chavez in Venezuela?

VZ just cut 3 zeros off of its currency. Hyper inflation. People are breaking into the zoos to kill the animals for food. Total breakdown of society. But CNN covers Stormy. Joke.

Otto said...

Ann letting it rip. I think it's a little bit of an adolescent girl growing up and realizing one of her revered is not all she thought. It will be traumatic when we find out the same about Dylan. Then it will truly be CHAOS.

William said...

Those who admire Penn's courage in speaking truth to power should take note of how Penn talks about his meeting with El Chappo. It's very rare you hear a mass murderer described with such mild words and in such a sympathetic manner......Does anyone think this book would have been published if Penn were not the author? The book will sell a few copies. The publisher wasn't taking that much of a risk. Stormy's book will probably sell better though. ......Does anyone think he got the interview Colbert based on the literarily merit of the book? Does anyone think Colbert read any more than five pages of the book?

eddie willers said...

I've just checked IMDb and I have never seen any of his films. No political reason why, it's just that none of his films are ones that interested me.

But knowledge of his politics means that this will always be so. (unless he plays Jonas Wilkerson in a remake of Gone With The Wind)

Howard said...

Tuesday must be triggering day

Snark said...

This book is free on Audible. I got it quite a while ago there.

Snark said...

Sorry...make that WAS free on Audible. It was under a pseudonym at the time.

https://www.amazon.com/Free-Bob-Honey-Just-Stuff/dp/B01LZG9FFX

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Ha...ha?
De gustibus, of course.

Snark said...

Okay, I watched that twice. The cigarette was almost certainly a planned bit, but he does seem genuinely highish on something. Colbert's "Do you know fly me to the fucking moon" seems pretty spontaneous. Penn's hands shake too, but that could be just some minor unrelated medical condition.

John Christopher said...

I read a novel written by Bill Maher, I may as well read one from Sean Penn.

Daniel Jackson said...

I'll pass

Big Mike said...

I'd like for Sean Penn to act like an ordinary Venezuelan middle class person for a couple months. Maybe he could put Dylan on the streets to make enough money for the family to eat.

Fernandinande said...

Snark said...
Penn's hands shake too, but that could be just some minor unrelated medical condition.


I have an unrelated medical condition.

eddie willers said...
I've just checked IMDb and I have never seen any of his films.


"Bad Boys" (198?) was good; a nerdy-looking but very slightly crazy Jewish kid blows-up the side of a goon's head. And a good fight scene.

Snark said...

I just made the mistake of dawdling on my computer and watching THAT scene from Mystic River. Whatever you think about Penn's politics, talk show appearances or novels - his acting can be utterly devastating.

So, maybe that Colbert thing IS just the perfect subtle performance of a highish guy on talk show. Probably impossible to know.

Otto said...

S.P. -5'8"
B.D.- 5'7"
Two little mediocre talent resentful shits posing as men.

Quaestor said...

Penn has had a hand in creating a real-life dystopia and making things worse in another pre-existing one, so it's only natural that he should try his hand at a fictional hell on earth. What is it that the important writers advise? Write what you know?

tim in vermont said...

Settle down. Penn wrote a novel and he's trying to sell it by embodying the character The Writer.

I remember when Dan Akroid was doing publicity for Ghostbusters - "The funny one." he gave interviews as if it were all real, kept a straight face. It was pretty funny. Made me want to see the movie, which was worth it. I don't know about this novel, but sometimes real twits can create good stuff. Prairie Home Companion was an excellent show, for example.

pacwest said...

"Sweet and Lowdown" was a great movie imo. I have no problem separating the the actor from the person or their politics.

Paul said...

Wish Penn would move to Venezuela and live with his Marxist buddies. I am sure he can live high there with inflation running over 1000 percent and eggs costing $240 bucks.

I mean he helped create the place surely he loves socialism so much he would enjoy the fruits of it's paradise.

But no, that's one 'sh*thole' he won't go back to.

walter said...

Big Mike said...I'd like for Sean Penn to act like an ordinary Venezuelan middle class person for a couple months.
--
He and his girlfriend just got a dog. Maybe gonna fatten it up and have a barbecue.

"Maybe he could put Dylan on the streets to make enough money for the family to eat."
His son? (Not his Meth head son "Hopper)

tim in vermont said...

Sean Penn made at least one great movie, BTW "Sweet and Lowdown," about a jazz guitarist. And I have to see "Pauly Shore is Dead"

tim in vermont said...

pacwest got there first on Sweet and Lowdown. He's right.

Curious George said...

Only Penn movie I've seen, Fast Times. Classic!

Comanche Voter said...

Well aside from his own nasty ill educated self, I'm almost certain that Sean's mother still loves him. Almost--but not quite; he's a hard piece of work to love.

veni vidi vici said...

He's trying for Garrison Keillor territory. It's not working. Maybe with more practice, though; who knows?

WK said...

I started to read an article on the Fox website that, based on the accompanying picture, I thought was about Madonna. Apparently the picture was Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I think the sunglasses threw me.

Big Mike said...

@walter, Dylan Penn is a girl.

bolivar di griz said...

Gangster squad, where he played mickey Cohen, really captured his inner thug, also josh brolin who was also in that film want acting too much in the way he played a brutish cop.

traditionalguy said...

Bravo! Penn gave a near perfect performance. What's not to like about him?

Ralph L said...

Meadehouse must be out on a bender.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Howard said...
Tuesday must be triggering day

3/27/18, 3:13 PM


How very f****** special you are, Howard. What do you do when you're not gracing us with your enlightenment?

Snark said...

Maybe they’re watching 4 hours of Chris Wylie appearing before UK MPs today, blowing the whistle on SCL and Cambridge Analytica. I know I am!

itzik basman said...

I say two things, having read the original post and having watched the interview as linked to here:

1. The Fox headline is off base. So what if Penn says he was on Ambien? So what if he smokes? And while the interview follows no cookie cutter mould and might seem to some as unusual, it’s fine: Penn is obviously charismatic in a relaxed way; he’s expressively intelligent; and in a word or two, the interview is lively and fun; it draws you in.

2. So Penn doesn’t need rescuing from Fox’s characterization. He is himself in the interview; he’s not playing a role or doing subtle comedy or playing his novel’s protagonist(s). That’s an overreading and an unnecessary one at that.

Sydney said...

Interesting combover

bolivar di griz said...


The beating will continue,

https://order-order.com/2018/03/27/fair-vote-project-funded-byline-cranks/

Ralph L said...

Penn is 3 months older than I am. Glad I don't look that rough.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Striking interview. I perceived, at a certain level, candor in his remarks, at another it was quite artificial, like Colbert's readying the ashtray with his fulsome explanation.

Do I understand that he has retired from acting?

I might read the book but I certainly wouldn't want to pay for it, so will check SimplyE. Needs editing. Makes me smell a vanity project funded by the fumes of celebrity.

It's not a comb over, it's a coif or pompadour or whatever you call it, but that bastard still has more hair than I did in my twenties.

I regretted the harping on how conservatives evidently should read it when though he apparently skewers them. I recall a video he and Kid Rock did for, I guess, the previous election. That seemed more in the spirit of reaching out.

I wouldn't punish him re buying the book because I don't want to countenance a leftist in any way; I wouldn't buy it because its quality is suspect from its provenance and from the sample given.

Bad Lieutenant said...

The Germans Have A Word For That. said...
The "Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff." excerpt was painful.

The attempt at humor was based simply on signifiers:

Septic tank pumping
Jehovah's Witnesses
mail-order merkins
Airborne Ordnance Maintenance Company
Pocket Protectors

We are expected to smile at how funny these things are, but are provided no context of why we should be amused, other than it fits things looked down upon by the elite without needed elaboration.

Ah, Las...I mean...


Anyhoo, it's virtually a process of MadLibs. Somebody in a shady flop out where the writers live probably has a Mad Libs book script or a heap of them, and SP went and had word association sex with it and spooged in the blanks with whatever loopiness came to mind.

But there's something in there, I'd just feel better paying a nickel than $29.99, or whatever it is, to own the piece of him that he shared.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Oh, anyway, I'm sure the Germans have a word for it.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Oh, I have decided to share the credit for this.


Bad Lieutenant said...

er, so as I was saying,
GRW3 said...
Maybe best expressed by these set up and punch lines of an old joke:

She says “Who are you going to satisfy with that?”

He says “Me!”


2/22/18, 10:08 PM

bolivar di griz said...

Spiccoli is unavailable for comment



http://miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/americas/venezuela/article206950449.html#fmp

Aussie Pundit said...

That looks pretty real to me. I've known plenty of hard-living men, and the man on the left is one of them. Nobody is that good an actor.

The only reason Colbert had the ashtray ready is because he knew in advance that Penn was likely to light up a cigarette, and if Colbert wasn't prepared it was going to be very awkward.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

Alistair MacClean got published under a different name to prove that his work stood on its own. He wasn't depending on name recognition.

I doubt that would happen here. Acquisitions editors that wouldn't give the query more than two sentences will publish it because it's Sean Penn.

It's probably not ghost written, though!

Sydney said...

It’s a combover. He’s as bald as Ron Howard. The hair from the back of his head has been grown long and combed forward then teased to hide the bald spot and look punk. It’s more obvious in the moving video than in the still. Women use this technique to hide female pattern baldness.

Bad Lieutenant said...

No Syd, later in the clip he ruffles hisbown hair and you can see the firm solid hairline straight across.

Bad Lieutenant said...


I was watching for that too, being of your mind.

(Typo: his own hair)

mikee said...

The use of the word "merkin" places this literary work solidly in the category of 1970s popular fiction, alongside Erica Jong's Fear of Flying, and Wifey by Judy Bloom.
It is an obvious ploy to include the prospect of surreptitious naughtiness, in a work where open naughtiness is to be expected, and as such is a cheap writer's trick to pull the rubes for increased sales.

I expect the zipless f**k is never achieved here either, and the naked man on the motorcycle disappears into the sunset without resolving any questions about himself.

walter said...

Blogger Bad Lieutenant said...
probably has a Mad Libs book script or a heap of them, and SP went and had word association sex with it
--
Yeah..thought similar. Had a "Hey, words are neat!" quality.

tim maguire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim maguire said...

I wanted to like it, but it's crap. Paint-by-numbers. No imagination, no cleverness, no soul. I don't know much about Thomas Pynchon, but Hunter Thompson would hate this pretentious crap too.