March 3, 2018

"While the rest of the nation spends $15 on an ordinary chicken at their local feed store, Silicon Valley residents might spend more than $350 for one heritage breed..."

"... a designation for rare, nonindustrial birds with genetic lines that can be traced back generations. They are selecting for desirable personality traits (such as being affectionate and calm — the lap chickens that are gentle enough for a child to cuddle), rarity, beauty and the ability to produce highly coveted, colored eggs. All of it happens in cutting-edge coops, with exorbitant veterinarian bills and a steady diet of organic salmon, watermelon and steak.... Instead of cobbling together a plywood coop with materials from the local hardware store, the rare birds of Silicon Valley are hiring contractors to build $20,000 coops using reclaimed materials or pricey redwood that matches their human homes. Others opt for a Williams-Sonoma coop — chemical free and made from sustainable red pine — that has been called the 'Range Rover of chicken cribs.' Coops are also outfitted with solar panels, automated doors and electrical lighting — as well as video cameras that allow owners to check on their beloved birds remotely..."

From "The Silicon Valley elite’s latest status symbol: Chickens/Their pampered birds wear diapers and have personal chefs — but lay the finest eggs tech money can buy" (WaPo).

Status symbol, eh? Let's guilt-trip those jerks into adopting rescue chickens.

101 comments:

rehajm said...

Netflix is still running Chicken People. Worth a look...

rhhardin said...

You can let regular chickens run free and eat the tick population.

tim in vermont said...

This is why tulip bulbs happened. All of that extra money has to go somewhere.

Sebastian said...

Did they get the birds' consent?

Michael P said...

$15 for a chicken? On a bad day, I pay half that, and the seller even removes the head, feathers, and other bits I don't want!

Fernandinande said...

How many Silicon Valley residents own chickens?

Here's a kid hugging an owl

rehajm said...

I've been sick every time I've had eggs from someone's backyard brood. I'm like 0-3. Enough risk taking...

BarrySanders20 said...

Clever -- the diapered birds are "pampered."

robother said...

Didn't Marie Antoinette do something similar? Comes the Revolution, it'll be interesting to see these Silicone Valley billionaires running around like chickens with their heads....

mockturtle said...

While not wanting to defend Silicon Valley, California or heritage chickens, I find the WaPo smugly contemptuous. These rich techies could be spending their millions on worse things.

When we had our hobby farm I raised chickens from scratch [get it?]. My husband built a beautiful coop with an enclosed run but we let them free range during the day, keeping an eye out for predators. We didn't eat them, just the eggs. What a fun experience!

Achilles said...

In the event that civilization collapses I plan on having a very large chicken farm.

Oso Negro said...

After a year in Los Angeles in 1980, I never tire of hearing stories of the perversity and debasement of California. And they always deliver!

Diogenes of Sinope said...

How do they taste?

Humperdink said...

MY DIL is now into chickens. Wants organic eggs. So last weekend they bought their first egg layers. She said they will produce pastel colored eggs, aka Easter eggs. Never heard of that.

Wince said...

Good God.

Isn't this an allegorical sneak peek into what Silicon Valley has planned for their lesser co-humans, played out daily at each step down the high tech human "pecking order"?

House them in pricey but small urban coops. Check.

Breed them for docility. Check.

Social and "happiness" engineering them for your own purposes. Check

In true Silicon Valley fashion, chicken owners approach their birds as any savvy venture capitalist might: By throwing lots of money at a promising flock (spending as much as $20,000 for high-tech coops). By charting their productivity (number and color of eggs). And by finding new ways to optimize their birds’ happiness — as well as their own.

Like any successful start-up, broods aren’t built so much as reverse engineered. Decisions about breed selection are resolved by using engineering matrices and spreadsheets that capture “YoY growth.” Some chicken owners talk about their increasingly extravagant birds like software updates, referring to them as “Gen 1,” “Gen 2,” “Gen 3” and so on. They keep the chicken brokers of the region busy finding ever more novel birds.

tcrosse said...

Spending 2 mil on a starter home or $350 for a chicken is just insane. Spending thousands on a bicycle or $165 for a pen, not so much. Perspective: use it or lose it.

Fritz said...

It nice of them to recycle some of their excess money to farmers.

Michael K said...

At least someone is getting some money to build chicken coops.

The employers of these people, like Google and facebook make vaporware.

Chicken coops are at least real.

cronus titan said...

Didn't this disparity ignite the French Revolution? Yes. Yes it was.

William said...

I have the feeling that this might be an elaborate put on, but I'm not sure who's sending up whom. These are post modern chickens laying ironic eggs. They're not designer chickens laying luxury eggs. There's a huge difference..

Ralph L said...

How do they taste?

Like chicken.

MadisonMan said...

These rich techies could be spending their millions on worse things

Like the Trump re-election Campaign! If only these techies had given more money to Hillary!!!, all the country's problems would have been solved.

The Post puts these stories out so that its local readers can note how their own lives aren't as bad as others. But the lives still suck!

Bob Boyd said...

"I picked up a copy of Free Range just because I was, like, I need to know about chickens now, because I'm in tech."

chuck said...

You know who else likes heritage chickens? Skunks and weasels.

CWJ said...

Makes sense. Starter home - Ordinary $100K, Silicon Valley $2,000K. Chicken - Ordinary $15, Silcon Valley $350. One's 20X the other, and the other's 23X. If anything, chickens are more expensive than real estate.

Ralph L said...

My grandfather built a 2 story chicken house in his back yard--in 1931. That operation didn't last long, but the house is still standing and full of stuff my father won't get rid of. The walls are made of heart pine flooring.

Bob Boyd said...

cronus titan said...
"Didn't this disparity ignite the French Revolution? Yes. Yes it was."

Let them eat cock.

Ralph L said...

Every chicken has a grandfather, it's just that some know who they were.

mockturtle said...

Like the Trump re-election Campaign! If only these techies had given more money to Hillary!!!, all the country's problems would have been solved.

But the 2016 election clearly wasn't about the money. It was about the message.

Fernandinande said...

$15 on an ordinary chicken

Prices actually (free)range from $.48 up to around $5-7.00 for fancy chickens.

Chicken steals a mouse from a cat

Fernandinande said...

the ability to produce highly coveted, colored eggs.

Easter Egg Chicken
As Low As: $2.20


The most expensive one is $25.

chuck said...

> But the 2016 election clearly wasn't about the money. It was about the message.

Someone should update Herbert Hoover's slogan: "A chicken in every pot and a tesla in every garage".

Heartless Aztec said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heartless Aztec said...

We're fucking doomed. No two ways around it. Straight into the shitter.

Bob Boyd said...

Growth career fields in Silicon Valley:

Chicken groomer
Chicken trainer
Chicken masseuse
Chicken therapist
Chicken nutritionalist
Chicken coop feng shui consultant

LYNNDH said...

Too much time, money and stupidity on their hands.
Why don't they give the money they are spending on the homeless that are endemic to CA. Ah, the definition of a CA Liberal.

Kate said...

I've had urban chickens everywhere, from Alaska to Arizona. They're useful and entertaining. If the Silicon elite actually scooped up behind and egg-gathered for themselves, I'd think they were showing signs of humanity.

exhelodrvr1 said...

What do they taste like? Kobe chicken?

Virgil Hilts said...

Call me sick but I fantasize about some post-secession Spartacus emerging from the SF/LA homeless and leading an army of 5,000 as they rampage through the rich confines of San Mateo/San Marino, ravaging the spoiled rich leftists in their path, eating their chickens, increasing their ranks as they pick up landscapers/servants, and then burning it all down.

David said...

Even high end chickens crap all over the place. Me thinks there are some happily employed immigrants around somewhere to deal with the mess.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm Full of Soup said...

Libruls, especially the uber rich ones, are mentally ill.

dreams said...

"diapered birds"

What a chickenshit idea!

robother said...

(backing slowly out of a comment thread invaded by Etienne) That's interesting, keep talking. See ya.

reader said...

Last Monday at about 2:00 in the afternoon I saw a coyote loping up our street with a whole chicken in its mouth. I wonder if he got one of the high-ticket chickens?

Our coyote pack is pretty brazen this year. Might have something to do with the fact we haven't had any mountain lion sightings lately.

Bob Boyd said...

Chicken of the Twee

Big Mike said...

Dang you, mockturtle! I was all set to say something along the lines of "locals say they really do taste just like chicken," but then it turns out you have your own fancy chickens with a fancy coop, and I suspect you'd take umbrage. So forget I was thinking about saying it.

mockturtle said...

Chicken steals a mouse from a cat

Good one, Fernandistein! A cat likes to toy with a mouse. A chicken cuts right to the chase.

mockturtle said...

Big Mike, it's been quite a few years since my chicken days. They weren't 'fancy' chickens but great layers: Buff Orpingtons and Barred Rocks. Laying hens aren't really good eating hens, anyway.

David in Cal said...

Silicon Valley is filled with families whose income makes them upper middle class, but whose lives are lower middle class, because a huge portion of their income goes to real estate costs.

mockturtle said...

Kate: Yes, chickens are very entertaining. Not terribly bright but entertaining.

mockturtle said...

Silicon Valley is filled with families whose income makes them upper middle class, but whose lives are lower middle class, because a huge portion of their income goes to real estate costs.

And once the Valley folks get smart and move out of CA, will Hollywood be the only thing left?

tcrosse said...

These are the chickens that Obama warned were coming home to roost.

320Busdriver said...

Backyard chickens.

Rapid response to:https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/03/01/california-ranks-last-quality-life-new-report/384853002/

Trumpit said...

Costco should sell a straight veggie pizza. Presently, they sell "cheese only," pepperoni, and combo, which has some veggies, but also sausage. I don't think they will make the combo pizza without the meat, but I've never asked. The difference between veganism, and vegetarianism is dairy. Vegans don't consume dairy products. The cheese section at Trader Joe's is off limits to a true vegan. Wine and cheese go together, so there's a problem. I read that some chicken and most rice contains arsenic. Arsenic is poisonous. Raising chickens on organic feed may reduce the amount of arsenic consumed by the chicken. What rich people do with their money is their business, except that I hope they do something good with their money.

Big Mike said...

Silicon Valley is filled with families whose income makes them upper middle class, but whose lives are lower middle class, because a huge portion of their income goes to real estate costs.

About twenty or so years ago I was flown out to Silicon Valley to interview for a job. While I was going through the day-long interview process my wife (they paid for her job, too) was going around with a real estate agent to look at housing. When we met up at the hotel that night she asked how it went.

"Not well," I told her. The tech interviews had gone well in my opinion, but the person who would be my manager is not someone I want to work for and he made it plain he didn't want me working for him, either.

"Oh, thank God!"

Turned out for what we could get for our nice, brick and block home near a regional park in Montgomery County, MD, we couldn't afford a home half the size out there.

And it's only gotten worse.

cf said...

I admit to a superficial read, all I am gonna do, but enough to say, what's the snark for? They are doing a work for all of us if they are perpetuating heirloom breeds, even if it is only in some small part.

Geez. Cool. Give em a break.

mockturtle said...

tcrosse surmises: These are the chickens that Obama warned were coming home to roost.

Yes. IIRC, he was tipped off by that great patriot, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

mockturtle said...

cf: Yes, heirloom breeds and heirloom seeds are worth preserving.

Fabi said...

Are these designer chickens carbon neutral?

Freeman Hunt said...

Ha ha ha! My closest friend built a chicken coop about a month ago using the roof of a neighbor's old chicken coop and old wood the same neighbor didn't want. The chickens were something like $2 apiece, and she gets colored eggs. I am sending her this article immediately.

Rumpletweezer said...

Thorstein Veblen explained this behavior over a hundred years ago.

roesch/voltaire said...

I have about a dozen recuse chickens (turkeys) in my backyard that they are welcome to take, and I can assure them they make Thanksgiving stand out.

Trumpit said...

"tcrosse surmises: These are the chickens that Obama warned were coming home to roost.

Yes. IIRC, he was tipped off by that great patriot, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright."

The tcross comment was witty, but mockturtle's nasty tack-on comment spoiled it. She is basically mean-spirited, and lives in a fog of baseless religiosity. Her computer is her AR-15 assault rifle.

Freeman Hunt said...

"spending as much as $20,000 for high-tech coops"

$20,000 so that a mere dozen chickens can poop all over them.

"At least one owner plans to transform his coop into an Airbnb for humans once the abode’s feathered inhabitants die"

How about an Airbnb pig sty? Or an Airbnb horse stall? Or an Airbnb pool float in the middle of a catfish pond?

Browndog said...

How they live or how they spend their money is their business.

The problem is, their 'business' is sticking their noses in our business, in an attempt to dictate how we live.

wildswan said...

New literary genres.
If you seem awestruck by their cleverness and amazed by their inventiveness, you can completely expose the silly pretentiousness of Silicon Valley inhabitants and collect a good day's pay.

PS. I'm not sure how keeping hens which lay unfertilized eggs is keeping up heritage lines but, there, I'm not a California person. Anyhow, the toxic masculinity problem is solved there, in that no roosters are allowed or wanted. Are they ... killed ...? Is the cute little chickie which turns out to be male, kiiiii, no no, ... well, who does do the kiiiii... whatever is done? Hen Valley Secrets. A Handmaid's Knife.

tcrosse said...

Myron Cohen joke:
Wall Street guy goes to a pet store to buy an expensive present for his Grandma. He spends a fortune on a parrot that he is assured speaks seven languages. He has it delivered to Grandma. A few weeks later he asks her how she liked it. "It was delicious", she says. "But that parrot spoke seven languages!" he replies. "So why didn't he say something ?"

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Herbert Hoover may have said "a chicken in every pot," but I have an idea that Henri Quatre said it a mite earlier.

There's a big chunk of Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma about a farm called Polycarp that does free-range chickens. I forget whether they're heritage breeds, but what struck me is how efficiently integrated the who operation is. The chickens are in bottomless cages, set out on the grass and moved every day, for example, so that they systematically fertilize the grass with their poop while eating. And they eat insects as well as grain. Chefs were quoted as saying that Polycarp eggs blew everything else out of the water.

That said, $350 for a chicken is insane. I suppose the problem for Silicon Valley moguls is how to shed excess cash, and this is one way to do it.

Unknown said...

Surely this is apropos

https://vimeo.com/140073404

Beth Donovan said...

I have never spent more that $2 on a chicken from Tractor Supply - whoever is paying $15 is getting ripped off!

Lew Wickes said...

Build a coop? No need. That's why God made junk cars.

Mike of Snoqualmie said...

chicken dinner: $350.
Eggs: $5 each.
I can buy a dozen jumbo eggs at Safeway for $2.50. Those Silicon Valley chicken moguls are fools.

Unknown said...

$15?!?!
They are less than two bucks at Tractor Supply.

tcrosse said...

chicken dinner: $350.

Nope. Those are bragging chickens, not eating chickens. Emotional Support chickens, if you must.

RichardJohnson said...

While I would never pay $350 for a chicken, I have been disappointed in the chicken I have purchased in grocery stores: tasteless. Which explains why I purchase chicken maybe once a year. Given the tastelessness of ordinary chicken, I could see a case for free range/organic chicken. But not at $350.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Heh good one Virgil at 9:42AM. We can only dream.

Anonymous said...

AJ Lynch said...
Heh good one Virgil at 9:42AM. We can only dream.


Only they'd be chanting:

"Larga vida a la revolución!!

Muerte a los anglos!!"

Anonymous said...

I think these people are running out of ways to spend their money.

Vanity chickens ? Where does it end ?

Earnest Prole said...

The $350 chicken story is fake news, designed to outrage the credulous and naive bourgeoisie. We've kept chickens in the urban heart of the Bay Area for some years now; a heritage-breed chicklet is free if you simply ask around.

Molly said...

There are (there must be) chicken training classes in which the pets are taught to sit, stay, fetch, and play dead.

Michael The Magnificent said...

Farm & Fleet day-old chicks order sheet (it's already too late to order this year, though it'd be worth a phone call just to be sure).

Most expensive day-old pullet (female) is the Welsummer at $4.69 each, minimum order of 5, at least that was the minimum order last year when I ordered five Buff Orpingtons at $2.99 each. The Easter Egger, which lays various pastel-colored eggs are also only $2.99 each.

Downside to day-old chicks is you need to keep them warm and out of drafts until they've completely feathered out, which means probably in your house, basement, or garage, and they stink. And they don't start laying eggs until they're about six months old, which means paying for feed without getting any eggs.

Of course if raising chicks is too much trouble, most 4-H clubs sell off their adult chickens after they've been judged at the county fair.

But $350 for a chicken?

Inkling said...

Quote: "lap chickens that are gentle enough for a child to cuddle"

Cuddle a chicken? I've fed the critters and snitched their eggs. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to cuddle one. A stray cat or dog from a local shelter makes a better pet and costs almost nothing.

FullMoon said...

Jeeze, how stupid. Personally, I prefer automobiles. Used to have ten or so.
One neighbor likes guns, has over twenty.
Another guy has a bunch of fishing poles.Of course there is the neighborhood cat lady.
Around the corner people have some stupid $2,000.oo dog.
All that seems reasonable, but buying a fancy chicken makes no sense.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

The only reason that I can see to raise chickens is for the eggs, the meat and their great bug catching skills in the garden.

Cost benefit analysis of raising chickens

When you factor in the cost of
1. Feed
2. Building a predator free chicken house
3. Securing a predator resistant area for the bird to scratch around in. Predators come from the ground AND from the air.
4. Cost of maintaining a disease free area. Cleaning the bird poo and disinfecting. Culling the diseased hens and surplus roosters.
5. The time it takes to do all this and keep up the maintenance
6. And the fact that in our area there are already many many people who are raising fowl.

versus

The cost of buying eggs in the store or from your neighbors. The cost of buying a killed and cleaned chickens....it just doesn't pencil out.

Fun idea but in reality....unless there were no other alternatives to chickens or eggs available, a real PTIA.

FullMoon said...

rehajm said...

Netflix is still running Chicken People. Worth a look...

3/3/18, 8:27 AM


Actually is interesting. One of the chicken guys builds race car engines $20,000.00 and up.

Jeff said...

Jeeze, how stupid. Personally, I prefer automobiles.

Ah, but you forget that when a chicken crosses the road, it is an occasion of great philosophical import.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Last Monday at about 2:00 in the afternoon I saw a coyote loping up our street with a whole chicken in its mouth. I wonder if he got one of the high-ticket chickens?

Our coyote pack is pretty brazen this year. Might have something to do with the fact we haven't had any mountain lion sightings lately.”

I was going to jump off from the weasel post earlier, but this is closer. Grandkids had chickens for several years, and sold the eggs to the neighbors. They were over by where Dr K lives now. It was rural enough that they could put a small refrigerator out on the front porch with the eggs and a collection plate, and depend on the honor system, but close enough in that most people didn’t have chickens. They had a pretty good system going - they didn’t get an allowance, but rather got chicken feed and the like. Couldn’t keep up with the demand. Worked great for a couple years until one night the local coyote pack got into the chicken yard and killed most of them. I think that the problem was that the two older dogs got old and died, leaving a single younger dog, which had to stay inside for its own protection against said coyotes. Pot bellied pig that was in the chicken yard to “protect” the chickens was fine - he just failed as a guard pig.

Things are a bit more rural up in MT where we spend half the year. The local feed and fuel gas station will have chicks available in a pen by the cash register, heated by heat lamps, etc. Last year they had three varieties, plus ducklings. Takes a couple weeks to sell off their inventory. Pen will disappear for a week or two, then another batch will show up. New thing last year was that they were also carrying chicken coops out front. Will have to remember this year to ask the owner if the chicks are a loss leader for their feed business, or if they just depend on the cute factor to sell them. You know that this is fairly rural from the Purina poster up there with several dozen different pictures showing roosters, hens, and eggs, that you can use to identify some of the more common breeds.

Ralph L said...

My grandmother cooked some chicks in the incubator once and it traumatized her for life.

Henry said...

If this was dogs, it wouldn't be a story.

Anonymous said...

I can see paying $15 for a pullet that you're going to use for egg production, but even with the hassle of raising them it's still cheaper to buy chicks for a couple bucks apiece.

@Dust Bunny Queen

Yeah, raising chicks in your backyard isn't cost effective against low-cost white eggs. But it does work out over several years to being no more costly than the cage-free brown eggs sold at most markets. Besides, the main reason to do it is because it can be fun. Though in my case it's so my kids have some sense of where their food comes from and that it doesn't just magically appear in packaging at the grocery.

cubanbob said...

$350 bucks for a chicken? Louis Jordan laughs.

https://youtu.be/sQbVGIeXnkg

https://youtu.be/HnyB0a8G71Y

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ shortdaddy

Having your children understand where their food comes from is really important. Living, as I do, in a very rural area, most kids here are members of 4-H or FFA who raise their animals as projects...... and we see the future steaks, burgers and lamb chops walking around all the time on the surrounding farms and ranches.

My biggest problem with the raising of chickens, or other fowl, which I would love to do is the constant vigilance against predators. Besides building a Fort Knox hen house we have to be on the lookout and be armed. We have mountain lions, foxes, raccoons, coyotes, feral dogs, feral cats, hawks of many kinds, bald eagles [which are really not interested in chicken raiding but will attack the hawks who have been able to snag a chick or chicken], snakes, as well as small vermin who steal the chicken feed and kill the baby chicks, all living on or meandering through our property.

It is a never ending battle to keep the predators out and in reality a danger to ourselves to walk outside in the early morning or dusk hours without being armed against the larger predators who aren't all that picky. I don't go outside alone without being armed with a hand gun or shotgun.

So...I'll buy or trade with other local farmers or just deal with the eggs from the stores and the tough ancient chickens we are offered in the stores.

Henry said...

There seem to be two kinds of part-time chicken owners in my experience. Those that go to great lengths to protect their chickens and those that see chickens about as worth protecting as cut flowers. Around here, 20 miles for Boston, we have coyotes, raccoons, weasels, fishercats, and foxes. If the chickens get free on their own, they may get picked off by a hawk or owl, or simply worried to death by a domestic dog or cat.

Ralph L said...

"Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poulet?"

Alex said...

I don't care what rich SV techies spend their money on, I care that they keep voting for evil, socialist Democrats who are ruining California and than exporting that evil across the country/world.

mikee said...

$15 per chicken? I pay about $0.99 per pound for whole chicken here in liberal Austin, Texas, for a total price of about $6 to $8 per bird. Or are you guys dealing in steroidal GMO chickens that are the size of Thanksgiving turkeys?

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

SV, NYC, DC, someone has to buy the luxury items. Someone will enjoy the beachfront estate in Hawaii.

Ralph L said...

As long as these aren't Chinese chickens acting as drug mules, they can go to the birds all they want.

Leigh said...

@MockTurtle -- me, too! My mother had her own "hobby farm" ... and was WAY ahead of her time: big into organics; BHA/BHT, nitrites and food coloring were verboten (which meant no Cheetohs or Captain Crunch or bacon -- unless she was out of town, in which case our father let us gorge). She'd drive way out of town to buy fresh milk and every six months or so, she'd buy a whole, butchered cow to store in the freezer (or 1/2 of a cow; can't remember -- this was late 60's/early 70's). She persuaded my dad to build a chicken coop in our backyard (against zoning, of course, but she was a real rebel).

We raised Cocky and Penny and our next-door neighbors followed suit and got a few chickens of their own. Every day my sister and I collected Penny's eggs. On Friday and Saturday evenings our parents chatted with the chicken-loving neighbors over cocktails (these neighbors also played classical music to the plants in their vegetable garden, so the suitability of opera was always a topic of debate) while we children played Ghost-in-the-Graveyard (and the younger ones got chased around by the chickens which pecked at their diapers -- until the grown-ups tired of the entertainment and penned them up in their coops). Great fun, good memories. And as you surely know, there's a dramatic difference in taste between the store-bought vs. "home-grown" eggs.

Unfortunately we had a real estate broker whose backyard backed up to ours, and he was not amused by Cocky-the-rooster's morning crow. To my grandmother's great relief (she was mortified by the chickens), Mr. Real Estate reported us to the city (along with our neighbors) and that was the end of Cocky and Penny and all the chicken fun. But it was a blast while it lasted.

Today government is even bigger. So if I were to try such a thing, I'd be limited to only ONE hen. Still, I'm thinking about it ...