May 19, 2018

There was a lot of this sort of thing.



Did anyone count the number of times Harry touched his face?

Nice dress. Tom and Lorenzo opine:
No one should care what these two queens think about wedding gowns, but this style has always been our favorite. It never ages badly. It will always look chic in pictures. From a personal-statement standpoint, we think this is very much of a piece with Meghan’s style, which has shown itself, post-engagement, to be minimalist and cleanly chic in tone. She’s not a gal who goes for a lot of foofaraw....
I wish everyone well.

I was up on my own naturally at 4 a.m., so I watched enough of the show to experience all sorts of feelings — squishy, tender, lofty, queasy... and I don't want to be awful... but Harry kept touching and rubbing his face and I just couldn't help thinking about Harry's mother and what I know about the thoughts that rushed through her head on that day that the world watched her bogus "fairytale" wedding.

So I'll stop here and say good luck to all the newlyweds of this world. I myself got married on a May 19th (45 years ago, in a marriage that lasted 14 years). You can watch all sorts of couples get married — people congregate to witness weddings — but you can't know what the marrying minds are thinking. Is it wrong to look at the outward signs that there is a big disconnect between the spoken words and real person who is enduring the theatrical ritual?

158 comments:

Oso Negro said...

Can’t we just enjoy a wedding? They always beat funerals.

Birkel said...

There is plenty of happiness to go 'round. Let us all aim to spread happiness.

Ann Althouse said...

"Can’t we just enjoy a wedding?"

I don't think it's right to enjoy watching the torment of a human being. So, no. But maybe your observation of human facial expression and body language is something you haven't developed or like to turn off when you're trying to have fun, but that's not me!

Ann Althouse said...

"Let us all aim to spread happiness."

So it's all about what goal you're hoping to achieve? But even if my main goal were to increase the happiness in the world, I would not believe that the way to do it is to encourage credulous sentimentality about marriage (especially the marriage of royalty).

Oso Negro said...

!!!! No need to be snippy. ;) I am not actually watching! But the couple has some free will about it, don’t you think?

Ann Althouse said...

Markle is an actress and she is working very hard and admirably at bringing Harry along to fulfill his role within the royal family. I assume he is trying and she is helping a lot, but it's not enough to enable him to play the role convincingly.

And I wonder what he thought watching his father walk Markle up the aisle to him? His father, who married his mother, amid similar grandeur. That was a big, horrible lie, we all know. He knows. And there was Camilla, the woman who tortured his mother, just a few feet away, in a big pouffy, feathery hat.

Ann Althouse said...

I'd love to hear from commenters who've read Tina Brown's "Diana Chronicles."

David Begley said...

I have always found it bizarre that any Americans have interest in the Royals. Imagine the coverage if we lost the war. And we easily could have. Without George Washington, we lose.

Saint Croix said...

But even if my main goal were to increase the happiness in the world, I would not believe that the way to do it is to encourage credulous sentimentality about marriage

The reason we have sentimentality about weddings is because of the harsh reality of a world without weddings.

The reason we have marriage is so people won't kill their babies.

We have sentiment and happy thoughts to avoid thinking about the ugliness we don't want to think about.

gspencer said...

What I particularly liked the most was Meghan's insistence that the organist play, as she walked & danced down the aisle, the theme music from her favorite James Bond movie, Gold Digger.

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

They say the British do pageantry very well. I couldn't watch the carriage procession. The horses were all over the place in check-reins and blinkers.

Men trotting without posting in a muddled mess.

And all to ensure that Harry toes the royal line.

Sad.

Ann Althouse said...

"But the couple has some free will about it, don’t you think?"

Yes, but I don't know the conditions and terms of the deal. I'm just looking at the part that's being shown and wondering. I'm not saying I feel sorry for him or her. I'm just wondering what's really going on. That's what I'm always doing! What is shown is always only evidence of what is really going on. The wedding is at the very least — obviously — propaganda for the royal family. We all have free will about a lot of things, including whether we'll swallow the theater of love spewed out by these freaky old ghouls.

Mary said...

Ann, you sound so down on marriage, weird, there are good ones you know, even when people touch their face.

Ann Althouse said...

"We have sentiment and happy thoughts to avoid thinking about the ugliness we don't want to think about."

Speak for yourself. I love beauty and happiness, but I don't think lying, fakery, and forcing people into marriage is beautiful or happy. And for myself, I want to get in touch with reality and truth. If there is something ugly in the world, I might not dwell on it morbidly but I'm not going to churn up stupid fantasies to help me not thing about it. For one thing, it doesn't even work, not unless you want to play dumb and distracted.

Caldwell P. Titcomb IV said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Can’t we just enjoy a wedding?"
I don't think it's right to enjoy watching the torment of a human being.


Is "wedding" = "torment" a sort of Freudian slip, or does face-touching supposedly indicate torment?

So, no.

Lemme write that down in my Big Book Of Appropriate Rules: "No wedding enjoying."

tcrosse said...

Harry is far enough down the order of succession that he needn't be bothered with a lot of the dynastic imperatives that his big brother is, or his Dad was. With any luck he and Meghan will settle down to a happy life like his Uncle Edward and Aunt Sophie.

Amexpat said...

"Can’t we just enjoy a wedding?"

This isn't a normal wedding. It's a widely watch public spectacle that's going to influence a whole generation of young girls (and some boys) as to what their wedding should be like. Nothing wrong with Althouse pointing out the role playing and farcical nature of this "event".

Ann Althouse said...

"Ann, you sound so down on marriage, weird, there are good ones you know, even when people touch their face."

No, absolutely not. That is where you are wrong. I am trying to save and elevate marriage. This fear of looking closely at marriage is deadly. There are dead marriages and fake marriages and these things are not true marriages. You can diminish what a marriage is so that you can say these corpses you are viewing are alive, but I am saying that being alive matters!

Donatello Nobody said...

Another episode of "Althouse Trolls Her Readers".

m stone said...

Face touching is comforting to some people. Bearded men especially enjoy it.

Face touching can also signal a lie taking place, depending on where and how it's done (usually left side). See FACS coding system.

Harry was nervous, tough soldier that he is.

M

David Begley said...

Why doesn’t CNN give this kind of suck-up coverage to Trump? He actually won an election.

sykes.1 said...

All of the sociological data and theory predict that this marriage will end in divorce in a few years.

tim in vermont said...

I’d love to hear from commenters who've read Tina Brown's "Diana Chronicles."

I think a Venn diagram of those demographics would look something like Hillary’s balls.

MadisonMan said...

I didn't watch the wedding.

I don't think face-touching necessarily can mean a lie is taking place. Harry no doubt knows his history, and how many of his ancestors married people out of duty, including, perhaps, his Dad. Nerves are all over the place for a man who is marrying. When I had a (lousy-looking) beard, it occasionally itched, for reasons that were never clear to me. Once the itching started, well, it was hard to stop it.

Your interpretation of the events could be wrong, Althouse.

actual items said...

"but you can't know what the marrying minds are thinking"

The subject of New Order's arguably best song, "Ceremony":

"This is why events unnerve me
They find it all, a different story"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5UK40sSo8I

Lyrics by Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division, about his wedding day, knowing in the moment that he was making a mistake. He would later commit suicide.

The remaining members band would record the song without him, the last one he wrote I believe, which would end up has the 1st single by the renamed band, New Order.

tcrosse said...

Did Tom and Lorenzo have anything to say about Pippa Middleton's
Arizona Iced Tea dress ?

Andrew said...

I'm looking forward to the discovery that the Queen was the mastermind behind the Trump dossier and the Russia collusion conspiracy.

Ann Althouse said...

"Is "wedding" = "torment" a sort of Freudian slip, or does face-touching supposedly indicate torment?"

The latter.

When I view theater, I look at the facial expression and gestures to get at the real meaning. In a great stage play, with live human actors, the lines come alive through the whole experience of how the actors look and sound. The text is often flat and unrevealing on its own and the value of the experience for a member of the audience is in figuring out what is really happening. For example, in a play, an actor might deliver the line "I never loved you" in a way that you'd know meant "I have always loved you." That's when you'd feel a great thrill at the art of the theater and believe you are in the presence of a brilliant actor.

A wedding is a form of theater with lines that must be spoken but that are not completely true and could be outright lies. If the "actors" do what they're supposed to, it conveys the feeling that all the lines are profoundly, thoroughly true. And you get the wedding feeling you as an "audience member" want. It's the meaning of the play, as intended. The "actors" should never want to get across some different meaning, so it's a performance failure if that happens.

I'm sure there are plays and movies where there's a wedding scene and the bride or groom characters shows by gesture, facial expression, and line delivery that they know they don't want this marriage.

Birkel said...

It's not all about you, Althouse.

Better than nothing is your high standard. If one were to suggest you are failing that standard, would happiness be increased?

Mrs. Bear said...

As far as the bride and groom go, being as I am in favor of Romance, I wish them well, and hope that their apparent love is real and powerful, no matter what the Monarchy wants. I am a small "r" republican and would not care to live under even a constitutional monarchy, but then the British people still seem to want it, so who am I to argue? At this point, considering recent behavior by the National Health Service and the British police and various other agencies of the British Government, I am inclined to think that the Monarchy may actually be the most harmless part of the whole power structure there.

buwaya said...

A lot of necessary things aren't beautiful or happy.
Beauty and happiness may just be fortunate side effects.
Or they may be the result of conscious effort guided by a determination to make the best of things, unpromising as they may seem.

I've seen a lot of marriages, as have we all I suppose.

This marriage here doesn't seem very promising, but maybe this woman is sufficiently pragmatic and disciplined to make a success of it.

The Godfather said...

Ann, Harry was “touching his face” to wipe away some tears. Some guys, even tough macho soldiers, tear up now and then when they get emotional. Where do you get “torture”?

And BTW Meghan today is the same age Diana was when she died. Diana was unprepared for a royal marriage; Meghan isn’t. There’s a good chance Harry made a better choice of bride than his father did (the first time).

Ann Althouse said...

"Face touching is comforting to some people. Bearded men especially enjoy it."

Well, this is something I have said separately about beards and it's a reason for men not to have beards: Bearded men always have beard gestures — pulling on the individuals hairs, stroking, rubbing. But Harry was at a solemn occasion and well aware that a billion people were watching him. He needed to resists fingering his beard. And yet he did it over and over and over again. I'm sure he was careful instructed on how to behave and that he practiced a lot and with observers who told him very clearly how to look the way he should. I am sure he was told: Don't touch your beard. Don't touch your mouth. Don't touch your face at all except for an occasional manly dab at a tear. He was rubbing and rubbing and touching and touching. assume his behavior tutors were in a state of anguish.

Saint Croix said...

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is the miracle during the wedding at Cana.

What I love about this…

How much wine they are drinking! 120 to 180 gallons. Of the finest wine. What a party!

That Jesus didn't particular care about the couple who were getting married. What does this have to do with me. But he helped them out because his mom asked him to.

I like Jesus calling his mother "Woman" to put her in her place. And she ignores him! She has full confidence that he can do something about this wine situation. And that he will do something about this wine situation.

I also like that only the servants know about the miracle. Everybody else is having fun, but they don't know why, or how, the party is so cool.

rhhardin said...

They're not married - they marry each other. Everybody else is a witness.

gspencer said...

Thought bubble over Harry, "Hmmmmm, what exactly have I gotten myself into"

Thought bubble over her, channeling Sonny & Cher, "I Got You Babe"

tim in vermont said...

I’m sure there are plays and movies where there's a wedding scene and the bride or groom characters shows by gesture, facial expression, and line delivery that they know they don't want this marriage.

You mean like the wedding in Kill Bill?

Martha said...

No mention of the Most Rev Bishop Michael Curry’s fiery address?
The Queen was not amused.

Carol said...

I was in Oxford during the second travesty, in 1986. The sound of all the bells going off afterward, at the colleges and churches all over town, now that was fabulous. I'll never forget that.

J. Farmer said...

The only thing I know about the couple via the British press is that Markle is half-black, and the British left are on microaggression patrol. The Daily Mail has gotten the usual slurs (but that's nothing new) and poor old Princess Michael of Kent was raked across the coals for wearing a tacky broach to a brunch in which Markle to be in attendance. Seems insane to me that our cousins across the pond can look at America's racial politics and think, "Looks good, let's have that here, too!"

Mark said...

That Jesus didn't particular care about the couple who were getting married. . . I like Jesus calling his mother "Woman" to put her in her place.

No and No. But it's interesting that you seem to think that Jesus was an uncaring arrogant jerk.

buwaya said...

In matters of marriage, family, bearing and raising children, "nothing" is most certainly not a high standard, it is simply failure, a failure in a fundamental duty.

And personal happiness, defined as - what, comfort?
Happiness is overrated. Personal survival is overrated.
Perhaps it is a problem in education.

As the Japanese saying goes, death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain. As our old ROTC DI (seconded from the Philippine Marines) would say, "isang bala ka lang" - you are just a bullet. You are expendable. You are a consumable material in service of a greater purpose.

tim in vermont said...

The Graduate? Another great movie wedding.

Sebastian said...

"There are dead marriages and fake marriages and these things are not true marriages."

Wait, so there is such a thing as "true marriage"?

After Tony and all, it seems a little late in the day for marriage essentialism.

tim in vermont said...

Where was Dustin Hoffman to save the groom?

buwaya said...

Coming from a mestizo society, to me the blackness doesn't register.
She is obviously mostly-white, which is quite good enough :)
Their kids, if any, will probably be quite white and likely good-looking.

Martha said...

Meghan Markle reminds me of Wallis Simpson. She is older, divorced, American, too thin, and seems to be directing her playboy prince.

Ann Althouse said...

@ actual items

Thanks for that great input. I'm listening to the song now.

Darrell said...

The wedding ended when a drunken Irishman threw a wallet into Meghan's face. Wait. That was Stormy's strip show.

Birches said...

I might like the dress and I might like the veil but I do not like them together. It looks frumpy. Sorry.

buwaya said...

Wallis Simpson would have done just fine had she caught a "spare".
A man with light duties.
A long career in British society pages and that would have been that.
But she hit on a weak man with especially heavy duties.

Michael K said...

"His father, who married his mother, amid similar grandeur. "

I thought she did not meet his father until she starting riding horses.

Loren W Laurent said...

As a pre-postmodern feminist I was curious to see what Althouse (a post-premodern feminist) might right about the latest royal nuptials. You know: to see what the post-premodern feminist take on a fairytale would be.

And -- as I expected -- she did employ the contextual touch of referencing Harry's mother's wedding day:

"I just couldn't help thinking about Harry's mother and what I know about the thoughts that rushed through her head on that day that the world watched her bogus "fairytale" wedding..."

Of which the only qualm I have is the defining of the wedding as a "Bogus" fairytale.

I believe it was certainly a fairy tale wedding: she was becoming a princess, which is rather textbook as far as fairy tales go. And I believe the Nonambiguously Gay Duo of Tom and Lorezno would've commented in much the same manner to that particular event, because royal weddings have a seed of a future Judy Garland in every beginning.

No, the fairy tale is real, it just happens to only last as long as the wedding. Which is why many fairy tales ended with the Princess and her Prince coming together, and what comes after is but the words "happily ever after" -- which works pretty much along the lines of a young woman in a horror film saying 'I hear a noise. I am going to go into the basement alone to check it out."

But people like to believe that their own life is a fairy tale sometimes, and -- if things are good and you aren't eaten by the wolf -- there are certainly worse things to see your journey that way. To wit:

"Meade" is an aesthetically pleasing name, but "Ann Meade" is too plain, and Meade is Meade, not me. But I did feel that it would be a unique and thrilling expression of love to take the name!"

"What could I offer in return? Let's see - I could prune those redbuds, take out the garbage, trap squirrels....I could fetch her newspaper, scrape snow and ice off her car, shovel the front walk. Draw her bath. Pick her up at the airport. Rinse and dry her wine glasses..."

"It's my dear hope that endless numbers of bloggers and commenters will read and write their way to love..."

"If Meade and I were starting our lives together and in our 20s — a topic we've discussed many times — we would put a premium on love and beauty and on maximizing our free time... and our freedom generally..."

and:

"And, in the end, Good Husband was able to lure me away from the keyboard and let me continue the daily mad freedom of living in writing.."

LWL

Saint Croix said...

I don't think lying, fakery, and forcing people into marriage is beautiful or happy.

It's way more beautiful and happy than lying, fakery, and forcing people into an abortion.

Unlike feminists, I don't think of a pregnancy as evil and coercive. I think of a pregnancy as natural, as a normal thing that happens when young men and women have sexual relations.

If there is something ugly in the world, I might not dwell on it morbidly but I'm not going to churn up stupid fantasies to help me not think about it.

Love isn't a fantasy. It's something we do, or not do.

Marriage is a choice people make. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be better than some of the awful alternatives.

Michael K said...

"Seems insane to me that our cousins across the pond can look at America's racial politics and think, "Looks good, let's have that here, too!"

Yup, and Muslims too.

Saint Croix said...

No and No. But it's interesting that you seem to think that Jesus was an uncaring arrogant jerk.

Did I say Jesus was an uncaring arrogant jerk?

I think Jesus had a sense of humor. And a great relationship with his mom.



tim in vermont said...

I just watched a movie called “The Gospel of John” and Jesus comes off as a real troublemaker to us non Christians.

Caldwell P. Titcomb IV said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Is "wedding" = "torment" a sort of Freudian slip, or does face-touching supposedly indicate torment?"

The latter.


Since face-touching doesn't indicate torment, Freudian.

He was rubbing and rubbing and touching and touching.

Oh baby!

I just watched the vows 'n' rings part: he scratched his nose twice, and she touched her hair once.

That's a reason for women not to have hair: haired women always have hair gestures — pulling on the individuals hairs, stroking, rubbing. But Whats-her-name was at a solemn occasion and well aware that a billion people were watching her. She needed to resist fingering her hair.

It was horrible to watch those two people smile throughout torment.

Owen said...

"...these things are not true marriages."

To which let us admit no impediment.

mtrobertslaw said...

Ann, what are the gestures and facial expressions that indicate a "true marriage"?

David Begley said...

Jesus was a troublemaker. His heirs conquered the Roman Empire without firing a shot.

buwaya said...

She does have an air of an emerging matron.
The bloom of youth is definitely off, and you can see the woman of middle-age.
Pleasant enough, indeed, but time is running out.
She had best get busy with pregnancy.

Anonymous said...


Perhaps knowing millions of people are watching makes it difficult for them to have an honest emotion. They're both actors of sort,s and if either is remotely intelligent, they're conflicted about the truth of the their own complicated emotions at this event and the fact they spend a great deal of time portraying pre-approved emotions.

A wedding isn't just a matter of simple joy. Intelligent people have complicated reactions to weddings--joy at the depth and breadth of love, apprehension at the doors opening, grief at the future doors being closed, nostalgia for their own childhood, sadness at who isn't here to share this, fear that they'll fail to live up to these vows, etc.

I might touch my face then too.











Bob Boyd said...

Beard bugs...is the likely explanation. An infestation can come on fast.
And to be fair, the bugs don't know it's a wedding. They're too busy down amongst the follicles, gnawing on things and crawling around looking for a mate and what not. Beard bugs don't marry, not as such. They just...well, you know. Then they lay their eggs.
Anyway, that might have been what was going on.

Loren W Laurent said...

actual items said...
"The subject of New Order's arguably best song, "Ceremony"..."

I suggest taking a listen to the Galaxie 500 version. A little bit more vulnerable, a little bit raw, compared to the thin layer of ice that Joy Division/New Order inevitably brought to things.

Not disparaging JD/NO mind you -- Peter Hook had a way of playing bass lines that were their own rhythmic yearning. (Yes, I know that sounds pretentious and twee, so I will rephrase as: his bass lines kicked ass).

LWL

Saint Croix said...

No mention of the Most Rev Bishop Michael Curry’s fiery address?

That's my bishop. He's awesome. Shook his hand once.

As for fiery, hey, wear red tomorrow!

“There’s power in love. Do not underestimate it. Anyone who has ever fallen in love knows what I mean."

“When love is the way, we actually treat each other, well, like we are actually family.

“When love is the way, we know that god is the source for us all, that we are brothers and sisters, children of God."

rcocean said...

England really got with Queen Elizabeth, what is she? Almost a 100?

The Royal men seem to be attracted to inferior women.

Mrs. Simpson
Carmilla Bowles

And now this one - some odd Divorcee from Los Angeles. Its hard to care about Royalty when they show no class.

rcocean said...

"Seems insane to me that our cousins across the pond can look at America's racial politics and think, "Looks good, let's have that here, too!"

Well, the British are the original anti-racists. They got such a moral high from attacking American Slavery and later Segregation, they decided to import a race problem.

Now they can monitor and throw each other in jail for saying something "racist".

It makes 'em happy.

rcocean said...

The Swedes are even more crazy than the Brits on this stuff. But then they've always been political oddballs.

rcocean said...

"Can’t we just enjoy a wedding? They always beat funerals. "

It depends on whose funeral it is.

Bill Peschel said...

Meghan Markle apparently touches her hair a lot, so maybe they're very well matched.

Earnest Prole said...

If she were actually trolling her readers, the hed would have read "A Little Touch of Harry."

Ray - SoCal said...

The real question is what is a true marriage:

>There are dead marriages and fake marriages and these things are not true marriages.

To Charles and Diana their marriage at the time of the ceremony was a true marriage.

One of the problems were they had different definitions of a true marriage.

And that eventually broke that marriage.

I see This Marriage as two of the highest profile people with highly dysfunctional families marrying.

Roughcoat said...

Tim in Vermont @9:25 AM:

Matthew 10:34-36:
34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and one's foes will be members of one's own household."

Breezy said...

My impression was he was just nervous. A very natural human thing, and his showing it is one of the reasons he is admired.
I loved the rendition of “Stand By Me”. The homily was over the top, contrived.
May they have a long and true marriage.

chickelit said...

To be fair, he’s the spare, not the heir.

Roughcoat said...

Give the Queen her due. She's the last surviving head of state to have served her country in uniform in World War II. She was a mechanic/truck driver in the Women’s Auxiliary Territorial Service, known as Second Subaltern Elizabeth Windsor. I like that about her. I like it a lot.

wwww said...


A wedding is a private moment in a public place.

Weddings are public for a reason. When a friend became infatuated with someone else, I reminded her that I was at her wedding. The guests are witnesses, present to support the couple as a couple, not just at the wedding but for the marriage.

This wedding is a high political event because of Harry's place in succession. I'm sure the public nature of the event was difficult for the people involved. It was a public obligation as well as a privilege.

Harry and Meghan both come from divorced families. Divorce is hard on children. Diana did not appear to understand what she had gotten herself into when she married. Meghan is significantly older. She is the age of Diana when she died. She's more mature, and I hope they will have a long and happy marriage. I wish her the best with her husband, her new family, her new nation and her new life.

chickelit said...

Suppose that Meghan Maples doesn’t last?

sean said...

The inner thoughts or feelings of the bride and groom on the day of the wedding have nothing to do with the success of the marriage, which depends on their character and values. So you can speculate on what they are thinking, but it doesn't tell you anything useful.

chickelit said...

.”To be fair, he’s the spare, not the heir.”

I mean, I want Kate Middleton’s husband on the throne. Just skip Charles.

tcrosse said...

My Dad used to say that the length of the marriage is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding.

Ralph L said...

And there was Camilla, the woman who tortured his mother
Diana didn't need any help torturing herself.

Hagar said...

Since the marriage has survived the media onslaught so far, let us hope it is solid enough to last when the paparazzi have moved on to the next shiny thing.

rhhardin said...

All women are actresses.

Kelly said...

I think Harry and Meghan seem to have a chemistry about them. I felt so sorry for her mother sitting by herself. Was there no other sane relative or close friend who could have accompanied the poor woman?

Sally said...

I very much appreciated the simple elegance of the mother of the bride.

Freeman Hunt said...

I bet there are a bunch of weddings going on today in my town. I'm not watching any of them either.

I almost never go to weddings. I think nearly all weddings look like torment and fakery. Now they're even more horrible with people taking phone pictures throughout. And videoing! Who is going to watch all those phone videos? No one. Horrible.

n.n said...

Wedding day jitters? Second thoughts? Regrets?

tim in vermont said...

All I am saying is that the movie gives you sympathy for what King Herod and Pontius Pilate had to deal with.

Narayanan said...

Harking to earlier blog, could the boy's father have been opining on Royal wedding ... White skin brown skin marrying etc...

William said...

I wish them luck. Meghan's racial background is a plus. It makes the Monarchy look more democratic and inclusive. No one likes an elitist aristocracy. But for the very reasons their marriage is popular, their divorce is sure to be perilous and fraught with difficulties. Maybe they'll stay married for those reasons. They're good looking, healthy, and rich. If they can't make a go of it, it will be very poor publicity for not just the Monarchy but for the institution of marriage,

rehajm said...

So quick to assume the problem is the relationship or the marriage. Equally plausible- uniform too tight/heavy/stiff, ceremony too long/boring, hangover/drunk, allergies, nerves...

On the marriage I’ll takethe over.

Narayanan said...

If only Harry had Sense enough to get manly and fatherly advice from Trump 🐱🐱🐱🐱

rehajm said...

I watched the BBC coverage and was struck by all the black guests who professed a desire for face not to matter- to focus on people as people.

In America today their careers would be over, for starters.

Freeman Hunt said...

If we didn't make weddings so horrible, the people in them might look genuinely happy. It's too much about the show and not enough about the marrying.

AZ Bob said...

Royal wedding or not, weddings are always the bride's big day. So Harry naturally is playing a role in several ways at once.

Does touching one's face mean trouble in paradise?

Hardly, I am not sure it means anything but here is one explanation I found on the internet:

https://www.worldcrunch.com/tech-science/unmasking-the-mystery-of-why-people-touch-their-faces

Touching the face is a mechanism to help remember. I think that is a good thing.

Freeman Hunt said...

My advice to young people who aren't in to weddings: elope and then let your family plan whatever wedding ceremony and party they want. No tension or fraught decisions because what do you care, you're already married, and the show is for these people. Also prevents them from spending foolish amounts of money because they probably aren't going to blow tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding where the bride and groom are already married.

No advice for older people like these "royals." Older people should have developed the mental freedom to do what they think best without others pushing them around.

Freeman Hunt said...

If he looked stressed, it was probably from having to remember all the lines and blocking.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Why the negativity? These two adults who seem love each other know what they’re doing and don’t seem to be being tortured in any way. The wedding was beautiful and joyous. Who cares if Harry touched his face? What nonsense to focus on it. What an odd disjointed take on this royal wedding.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Who isn’t nervous on momentous occasions such as weddings, it’s called being human.

MayBee said...

I thought he looked nervous, not tormented. I don't believe in body language froo frah like touching your face = torment.

Yes, Diana and Charles's wedding was about an arrangement between two people who had two different understandings. But Harry has grown up with his father in a relationship with the true love of his life. His romance with Camilla Parker Bowles is the real fairy tale, and I believe the royals have changed because of it. He din't get to marry the woman he loved because of ridiculous rules the royal family has since changed. And Harry and Megan are the benefactors of that.

MayBee said...

*beneficiaries

And I completely agree with Inga.

Michael said...

The Anglican wedding taken from Cramer's beautiful Book of Common Prayer had to be tarted up with a gospel choir and the black Bishop of the Episcopal Church USA( which church is in timeout from the Anglican Communion because of its various departures in orthodoxy)who was kind enough to bring the specter of the Right Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King into the homily. Wherever black or half black people congregate MLK must appear. The heads of much of the congregation remained down through the more tacky parts whether to hide smirks or revulsion we will not know. Harry, the wild child, stuck it to the establishment in so many ways. Sorry the Kardashians were not there even though Oprah was. Only one member of the bride's family was in attendance. I think she has left the rest behind for her Suits pals who will shortly be in the same marooned boat.

traditionalguy said...

The German family adds a new pawn in the game. Boy will she be sorry.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Wherever black or half black people congregate MLK must appear. The heads of much of the congregation remained down through the more tacky parts whether to hide smirks or revulsion we will not know.”

Ugly pretentious elitism. Not surprising coming from him.

traditionalguy said...

Markel's role seems to be a distraction from the enormous power William and Kate have to exclude Charles from the king position. See, there are many popular young heirs around and none is special. The day Charles is gone, Markel's use to them is finished and we will never see her again.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“The Anglican wedding taken from Cramer's beautiful Book of Common Prayer had to be tarted up with a gospel choir and the black Bishop of the Episcopal Church USA...”

Behold the pretentious elitist.

Bill said...

Check out Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark at his wedding to Mary Donaldson in 2004. He looks like he's been put on the rack!

Ralph L said...

they probably aren't going to blow tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding where the bride and groom are already married
It doesn't seem to stop them when they've been shacking up for years first, which seems to be the norm now.

There was no reason Charles couldn't have married Camilla before she married someone else--if the Queen approved it. We don't know why he didn't, but possibly Camilla didn't want to.

buwaya said...

Re elitist aristocracies -

To the contrary, people love them, often quite secretly, but they do. They are great entertainment, they have an air of authority, they are a great rock to lean on (regardless of reality), giving a sense of, well, that things are in good hands, even if the non-aristocrats have to get themselves out of trouble anyway.

This is alien to Americans, mostly, but you do (or did) have castes and such that fill this role.

But the aristocratic caste has to be seen as, if not always good, at least worthy. To be a "grand diable de milord Anglais" (comment on Sargents famous painting), one has to look the part, and play the part, and be the part, unto death. Noblesse oblige was often fatal.

langford peel said...

This is all fine and dandy but what are they gonna do when her uncle steals their television set to sell so he can buy crack?

Yancey Ward said...

If I were forced to interpret all of this, it would be that Harry found the entire spectacle a bit embarrassing. It makes me like him more for that reason.

buwaya said...

The real problem with aristocrats and aristocracies is that they cannot maintain themselves and their social roles. If they cannot do the noblesse oblige thing, they are less noble.

The pattern is that a modernizing society elevates a meritocratic elite that takes their power, but not their aura or obligations. This is not new by the way, this was an element in the collapse of the Roman Republic.

And it isn't just the haut bourgeoisie that turns them into mastodons, but the bureaucraticization of the state. That was Hippolyte Taine's explanation for the decline of the French aristocracy.

Michael said...

Inga believes The Book of Commompn Prayer to be elitist. And do you know what? It is. But substituting Stand by Me sung by a Gospel choir and composed by Ben E King for English composers from Byrd to Tavener is just A fucking OK for the union of a Royal many removes from the throne and his divorced actress wife. No tradition for Inga is worth preserving.

Seeing Red said...

And I wonder what he thought watching his father walk Markle up the aisle to him? His father, who married his mother, amid similar grandeur. That was a big, horrible lie, we all know. He knows. And there was Camilla, the woman who tortured his mother, just a few feet away, in a big pouffy, feathery hat.



I was saying something like that to my husband. It’s no wonder why Harry’s head is full of crap. I told him that family killed his mother because his father was an arrogant pompous selfish ass. The British were Churched today by Reverend Curry. Diana certainly wasn’t shown the love, so she loved.

3 of the Queen’s children are divorced. Edward isn’t because he married later. I think time reflection and age have finally done a number on the Royal family. They are more open. Diana’s true legacy on/for her country, her people, her duty.diana had her own heavy baggage, but her kids are taking 1000 years into a new direction.

But the couple is older, wiser and they will be happy.

buwaya said...

Beauty is its own justification.
And the perception of beauty is a great filter for the noble and the base.

There was an article (there have been several over the years) about 7-11 and such playing Mozart and Bach to drive away bums and petty criminal loungers. It seems to work very well.

langford peel said...


"And I wonder what he thought watching his father walk Markle up the aisle to him? His father, who married his mother, amid similar grandeur. That was a big, horrible lie, "

Prince Charles is not his father. That is the big horrible lie.

Princess Diana's riding instructor is his Dad. He rode her hard and put her away wet. That's why he won't take a DNA test.

wwww said...


I don't understand the negativity. I thought it was beautiful. Yes, weddings are not just for the couple. And that's OK. It's about the guests and the witnesses. The kids were adorable and the service was a nice blend of British high Anglican and American sentimental gospel. There was good news shared and then a celebration.

The little kid holding her veil had a HUGE smile on his face.

Good luck to them, and I wouldn't be surprised if kids appear within the next two years.

rcocean said...

"The Anglican wedding taken from Cramer's beautiful Book of Common Prayer had to be tarted up with a gospel choir and the black Bishop of the Episcopal Church USA( which church is in timeout from the Anglican Communion because of its various departures in orthodoxy)

I was shocked they didn't get a Lesbian C-of-E Bishop who believes in Sorcery.

Quaestor said...

Prince Charles is not his father. That is the big horrible lie.

He wouldn't be the first bastard in line for the Crown. Edward V, for example?

buwaya said...

Weddings are not for the couple at all.
They are for the community, however defined. And for royalty the definition is very broad indeed.

Katherine said...

Maybe this photo was taken during the sermon. I've read the transcript of Bishop Curry's remarks, and it was ... interesting.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Inga believes The Book of Commompn Prayer to be elitist.”

No. I was referring to you, obviously.

Seeing Red said...

No mention of the Most Rev Bishop Michael Curry’s fiery address?


When Curry started speaking I told my husband we’re going to Church! And we did!

I later asked him who would you rather listen to in Church, Curry or one of the chief Druids? That’s one reason the Anglican Church is dying. BORING.

One thing that really irritated me was what is up with the Royals looking at their programs instead of the vows??? Why aren’t you watching your relative say his vows? That’s the moment you look on them in love and pride and it came across as bored.

Quaestor said...

Prince Charles is not his father. That is the big horrible lie.

If true I doubt the Queen is much troubled by the fact. The Prince of Wales is far too Hanoverian for the long-term genetic health of the dynasty.

AZ Bob said...

By-the-book weddings are the exception today. Everyone wants to change the ritual for themselves. Women no longer promise to "honor and obey." At least my wife was being honest when she omitted that phrase from our marriage vows.

Lindsey said...

The riding instructor claims he met Diana when Harry was a toddler.

Trumpit said...

From the looks of it, he's having serious second thoughts.

Jim at said...

I would like to thank our Founding Fathers for ensuring I don't have to care about royal weddings.

Jim at said...

I think a Venn diagram of those demographics would look something like Hillary’s balls. - Tim in Vermont

That is AOSHQ-worthy, right there.

Michael said...

Seeing Red

Ah, the boring CofE!, No, the CofE is dying because the people have lost their faith, have turned away from the dreary and hard truth of how to live. Gospel choirs and other entertainments will not slow the slide. It is basically over. The lovely churches of England are empty, being turned into libraries and tea shops.

The Cathedrals are doing a bit better and evensong is enjoying a bit of a resurgence. There is nothing more beautiful and less boring than those services. Nothing.

But as Inga observes the CofE and its traditional rubrics, its Apostolic reach deep into the past is elitist. As is classical music. High art. Classic literature.

Birkel said...

I enjoy reading all the mind reading. From Althouse to Trumpit, you sorceress and witchy lot must have other fabulous magical powers. Regale us with your gifts.

robother said...

"Prince Charles is not his father."

"No, the CofE is dying because the people have lost their faith..."

Not the father
Not the son
Not the Holy Ghost

Ralph L said...

Harry's eyes are too close together, as are Charles' and Philip's, but not Diana's or Hewitt's.

He wouldn't be the first bastard in line for the Crown. Edward V, for example?


I looked it up. Apparently an agreement to marry someone else was then considering binding enough that Richard III could claim Edward IV's marriage was legally invalid. This came up with Katherine Howard, too. There's also some possibility Edward IV was not his father's son--he may have been abroad when he was conceived. This was alleged in his own reign.

Edward V was actually born in Westminster Abbey in 1470 when the Yorkist were briefly out of power and his mother sought sanctuary there.

Catholics thought Elizabeth I was a bastard.

eddie willers said...

I think Princess Charlotte is the cutest little girl in the world.

I hope Trump doesn't say something like that. The press would say he was "creepy".

SweatBee said...

The alleged real King of England is Australian and his father was a forklift operator: Britain's Real Monarch

Larvell said...

Women: “He touched his face! What could that mean? It has to mean something significant! He must be in torment, knowing it’s all a lie! It’s because of his mother, and her unhappiness. He knows he’s being forced to go through with something he doesn’t want, and it comes out in his face-touching. That’s it!”

Man: “This beard itches.”

rcocean said...

"When Curry started speaking I told my husband we’re going to Church! And we did"

I agree. He was interesting and passionate. I'd love to have this guy on Sunday.

But he should have cut 50% - its not a church service -its a wedding.

Caldwell P. Titcomb IV said...

SweatBee said...
The alleged real King of England is Australian and his father was a forklift operator: Britain's Real Monarch


Oooh, little "Simon Abney-Hastings, 15th Earl of Loudoun", what a silly, pompous name, it even has a number in it. And I'm Vice-King of Australia.

Inga...Allie Oop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BlueHen said...

I too thought Harry was wiping away a tear or two with some of those "touches". What's the point of all the analysis. The bride was beautiful, the groom handsome and from what I observed from his smiles and body language, a very happy man. I wish them well.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“But as Inga observes the CofE and its traditional rubrics, its Apostolic reach deep into the past is elitist. As is classical music. High art. Classic literature.”

Inga made no such observation. It was your ugly reaction to the ceremony that was elitist. Interesting how you continue to try to say my comment on your reaction to the ceremony was directed at the ceremony itself. Michael, as I’ve said before, you’re a pretentious snob, an elitist. How odd that you’ve embraced Trump whose supporters claim they dislike elitists and are for the common man.

Birkel said...

Inga's 4:15PM comment was one of her best ever.

Jon Ericson said...

Damn, I unblocked her just to see the car wreck, and poof it was gone.

Birkel said...

Jon Ericson,
I was complimenting Xer on a self-deletion. Sorry to cause confusion.

MadisonMan said...

I almost never go to weddings. I think nearly all weddings look like torment and fakery.

If you work in the wedding industry, you come to realize every wedding is the same, but everyone thinks their wedding is somehow different.

langford peel said...

Whole lot of shaking going on for a mud shark jamboree.

Jon Ericson said...

Birkel,
I see. *rubs stubble*

Michael said...

Inga
I am both a snob and an elitist. No pretense.

Anonymous said...

" Ann Althouse said...

"Harry was at a solemn occasion and well aware that a billion people were watching him. He needed to resists fingering his beard. And yet he did it over and over and over again."

But he's the rebellious son, as opposed to his elder brother, the good son. Marrying a half-black divorced American is all part of that. He partied in a Nazi uniform. Touching his beard would be the least of the ways he's driven his minders crazy.

Anonymous said...

Nice to be able to agree with Inga (first comment at 11:58).

rcocean said...

When Queen Elizabeth dies, they should just fire the current bunch of Royals and import a New - better monarch - from the Continent.

They've done it before. The current lot aren't really English, they're Germans.

I'm sure there's an attractive Prince in Denmark or Holland that would've love to "Step Up' and be King of England.

rcocean said...

Who's more boring Inga or her "Friends".

You make the call!

Mary said...

" Ann Althouse said...
No, absolutely not. That is where you are wrong. I am trying to save and elevate marriage. This fear of looking closely at marriage is deadly. There are dead marriages and fake marriages and these things are not true marriages. You can diminish what a marriage is so that you can say these corpses you are viewing are alive, but I am saying that being alive matters!"

I still think you're reading way too much into this, here's a reddit about men compulsively stroking their beard:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/2mtj5q/stroking_your_beard_compulsively/

And what I find very odd is that while you are judgmental of these two young people, you have not made the same distinction with Donald and Melania, and you go out of your way to make it look like it's all normal over there in the white house.

I love your blog and look forward to your thoughts and ideas, but man, sometimes you're like far out! Dig?

CStanley said...

For all we know, she thinks those gestures are cute and endearing.

I think it's reasonable to infer that Prince Harry has enjoyed the status of most eligible bachelor, and wasn't keen on giving it up. He may well still be a cad who doesn't intend to honor wedding vows, or he may have chosen to move into a new phase of life with a woman he sincerely loves. Their business, not ours (yes, even though they made a very public show of their nuptials.)

At least he chose a mature woman who doesn't seem to be of a fragile temperament like his mother was.

CStanley said...

" Ann Althouse said...
No, absolutely not. That is where you are wrong. I am trying to save and elevate marriage. This fear of looking closely at marriage is deadly. There are dead marriages and fake marriages and these things are not true marriages. You can diminish what a marriage is so that you can say these corpses you are viewing are alive, but I am saying that being alive matters!"


I have a very elevated view of marriage too. In fact, I think is the most elevated, that is, the concept of sacramental matrimony according to Catholic theology. However, as a person living in a pluralistic society I can accept that this isn't everyone's idea of marriage and it doesn't have to be. Marriage is still a stabilizing institution when some people view it in a less lofty way, as a contractual arrangement that serves many purposes. Some people choose to enter into those types of unions and they don't always end badly.

F said...

Several commenters have mentioned the possibility -- rather the likelihood -- of divorce in Harry and Meghan's future. They seem to ignore the possibility of Prince Harry following the example of Henry VIII. You hear it here first.